[寫作] 幫我看一下這個造句

看板GEPT (全民英檢)作者 (bababer)時間15年前 (2010/04/12 00:49), 編輯推噓2(208)
留言10則, 4人參與, 最新討論串1/1
several nights,dreaming my father,as a giant,hanging an extremely huge fired bomb with many little boys and girls,dancing and singing around him,ending up by the exploded bomb with freash and boold from these children,I would waked up abruptly in the nightmare. 我在想這樣的句子會不會太長..... 讀起來會很不舒服嗎? -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 118.160.112.94

04/12 07:35, , 1F
會太長 太多訊息在同一個句子裡了 可以先寫 I would
04/12 07:35, 1F

04/12 07:35, , 2F
wake up abruptly in a nightmare several times
04/12 07:35, 2F

04/12 07:36, , 3F
recently. In the dream ... 用完整的句子說明夢境
04/12 07:36, 3F

04/12 10:56, , 4F
感恩!
04/12 10:56, 4F

04/12 15:04, , 5F
作文要的是簡潔清楚傳達訊息..
04/12 15:04, 5F

04/12 23:24, , 6F
恩恩= =感恩~~因為在下從未正式用英文認真的寫作過
04/12 23:24, 6F

04/12 23:24, , 7F
又看到一堆文學史夾雜了一堆訊息~~或是小說
04/12 23:24, 7F

04/12 23:25, , 8F
會想這樣造也是想看一個句子裡給的訊息的最大極限是到那
04/12 23:25, 8F

05/27 23:13, , 9F
還好啦,基本上你都用逗點分開了,感覺不是一個句子阿
05/27 23:13, 9F

05/27 23:13, , 10F
都那麼多逗點了,就是好幾個句子了
05/27 23:13, 10F
文章代碼(AID): #1BmVs3cf (GEPT)
文章代碼(AID): #1BmVs3cf (GEPT)