[分享] 文章編修品評：AWA.SOP.Writing Sample

看板studyabroad (留學)作者Mirranda (長溝流月去無聲)時間15年前 (2010/03/20 23:19)推噓11(11推 0噓 7→)

留言18則, 15人參與討論串1/1

當初申請時因為心中很徬徨.又不知該如何增加勝算. 所以找了許多editor編修相關文章來壯膽.其中遇到很用心的編輯.也有很OX的以下是我對他們修改品質的一些心得.依照編修文類與推薦程度作排序並附上心得希望能幫助將來有編修需求的版友 ****************************************************************************** AWA 1.Cyber Savant http://cybersavant.blogspot.com/ 修改方式：每篇七美金.四篇以上每篇六元.同篇文章可多次修改不加錢優點： A.準時交件.趕時間可以向他說.他若能配合交件時間.便會收件 B.可以多次修改 C.會幫忙澄清與強化句意與評鑑文章架構.而非只改文法錯誤缺點：勉強來說的話就是價格不太可愛吧例子：我的句子：Another instance is the case that computers save out much time in searching for information which was searched by reading books. 修改版：Another instance is the case that computers save much time in searching for information which used to be done by spending hours reading through a bunch of books. 2.來欣張老師 (我忘記他的名字了) 修改方式：一篇100台幣.一週後可自來欣櫃臺領回優點： A.價格便宜 B.改件迅速缺點：只改文法錯誤.不給文章結構的意見.也很少指出意見不清或表達不夠強烈的句子 3.來欣謝忠理修改方式：一篇100台幣.一至二月可領回優點：無缺點：除了張老師改件的缺點外.再加改件極慢.完全不推薦給他改總評：一分錢一分貨.Cyber雖然比較貴.但給他改比較有收穫.預算夠的話建議找他改 ***************************************************************************** SOP 1.Victoria Scott （好友HC推薦的私人編輯）修改方式：一小時五十美金.不接受信用卡.需用匯票寄到美國優點： A.準時交件.趕時間可以向她說.她若能配合交件時間.便會收件 B.修改非常用心.除了改正文法用字外.會一一詢問意義不清的句子. 待確定沒有誤解我的意思後.再行修改.如此一來一往需討論多次經她修改後.我才徹底瞭解自己以前的英文表達多麼含糊 C.非常有禮貌.修改說明也很詳盡缺點： A.價格貴.我一篇二面半的SOP.最後含運與匯票手續費.共花了8500台幣左右@@ B.她不是專改SOP的編輯.所以無法提供太多SOP結構的建議例子：（很長.慎入）我們來來回回至少修了3次.以下是她看完我的SOP後的第一次回信： Hello, Mirranda: attached are the two files. You'll see that I do have many questions. You certainly don't need to answer all of them--they are just things that occurred to me as I read and tried to figure out what you were trying to say. Please feel free to either (1) work on the two files below, with Tracking Changes turned on, as it is now, so I can see your replies and changes, or (2) send new clean files for a second round of editing. The suggested revisions are just that--suggestions. You are the author and do not need to accept any of them unless they help you explain your personal journey as a scholar and your plans for doctoral research. Your topics do sound fascinating; they just need to be presented more clearly so that the reader can immediately understand exactly what you're so interested in exploring--and why you would be a worthy recipient of a Fulbright. 打開檔案後.就是滿滿的問題.茲舉一句為例：原句： My aim is to reveal the process of gendering bodies and to introduce this process to the public, as an approach to understanding how bodies are divided into two parts, corresponding to male and female. 她的問題： please clarify/explain: aren't bodies naturally divided into male and female [in most cases] at birth? are you talking about the cultural distinctions imposed on male and female bodies by the field of medicine in pre-modern China? if so, what were these? give some specific examples, if possible, so the reader can quickly and easily form a preliminary image here in your first paragraph of what kind of topics you are most interested in exploring as a historian; also: how did you become interested in—much less passionate about—this topic in the first place? please let the reader know your personal intellectual odyssey in more detail, going back to when you were quite young perhaps?—thanks!) 我的回答： The process of gendering bodies, which generally means the development of cultural distinctions imposed on male and female bodies. The distinctions may derive from the explanation for physical phenomena, such as mechanisms of flowing breast milk and ejaculation, and from two sexes’ different social roles, for example bearing male children was regarded as women’s significant responsibility in pre-modern China. These distinctions could be found in the cast that in the Tang, because of gestation, female bodies were viewed more vulnerable to sicken and more difficult to cure than male did.... 並又加了一些有關修課心得的敘述之後她把我的回答和其他有關大學修課的句子整合如下： After taking these courses, I found that this reciprocal relationship was often grounded in medical discourse. For example, cultural distinctions imposed on male and female bodies, as the factors in constructing gender roles, usually derive from explanations for physical phenomena, such as the mechanism of menstruation or ejaculation. 在第一修時.她幾乎每.一.句都會有類似的問題.因此我要回答很多問題這樣處理下來.文章篇幅會暴增許多.因此之後我們又花許多時間討論該如何縮減雖然這樣很花時間又花心力.但我覺得比較安心. 因為我們是立足在清楚知道我想說的話的基礎上.而非將就苟且地進行刪減與排列組合我個人是滿喜歡這種作法的：） 2.Top Admit 我是用Essay Basic Editing. 但忘記是哪位編輯了.只記得是人文領域的女性編輯.版上有許多人推薦她修改方式：請見網頁說明：http://www.topadmit.com/svc_ebe.php 優點：便宜缺點：旺季時交件會delay 例子：原句：My journey to the growing field of the cultural history of gender and medicine in pre-modern China, particularly how Confucianism shaped gender roles as well as conceptions of bodies, is influenced by my growing background and academic training. 修改： My personal background and academic training have influenced my journey to the burgeoning field of gender and medical cultural history in pre-modern China, and in particular encouraged my interest in how Confucianism shaped gender roles as well as the conception of bodies. 因為是價格較便宜的基本編修.所以沒有任何評語與結構建議.就是改文法與句型. 沒啥特別推與不推的感覺.就是看個人需求是否符合吧 3.Harvard Tutor Taiwan http://groups.google.com/group/harvard-tutor-taiwan?pli=1 修改方式：寄去估價.修改分成三階段： Round 1 addresses large issues - if I think something needs significant revision, I make those suggestions in the first round. I don't do any grammatical or style issues in this round, because you might be changing those sentences anyway. Round 2 addresses issues of clarity, style, and language. Round 3 addresses any points that I wasn't able to address in round 2 because I wasn't sure what you meant. 優點：計費方式.修改次數都可以商量.不明白他為何這樣改時也可以直接問他缺點：A.只改三輪對我來說不太夠 B.對於某些句子他只說"不知道我的意思".但我認為這種修改意見很不負責任因為假如我知道這句子哪裡不清楚的話.就不需要他幫我改了 C.未準時交件.比預計時間晚了一天另外.雖然他號稱是Harvard博士生.但其實改出來的品質並沒我預期中好我曾經看過一位好友透過私人情誼.請另一位哈佛博士生修改過的SOP. 其成果遠～～勝該位編輯. 我並不是質疑他謊報學歷.而是想說：就算是名校博士生.每個人修改與撰寫SOP的能力也不盡相同既然名校學生不能保證能改出好SOP.還不如去找專業的editor 而且我當初會請他編修.是因為他的領域也是中國史. 所以我想可能會得到比較專業的領域建議.不過最後從成果看來其實也沒有什麼加分的地方既然修改內容與專業領域都沒有令人驚豔的表現.那還不如找Top Admit 由於不推薦他修改.我就不附例子了總之.SOP我最推Victoria.但假如預算有限.或許可以找Top Admit的專業編修試試 ************************************************************************ Writing Sample 留學主義 http://edupaedia.com/web-v2-big5/?mid=47 修改方式：SOP與Writing Sample的計價方式不同.WS一字約1.5元優點：可用中文溝通.遇到不知如何以英文表達的句子時.可以直接請他們翻譯缺點：只改文法用字等錯誤.難以滿足學術文章應有之formal style要求例子：原句：To be specific, whether wives and concubines both could receive the benefits of this kind of sexual arts remains a considerable question. 修改：To be specific, whether both the wives and concubines could receive the benefits from this kind of sexual arts remains a big question mark. 我看了修改後.詢問：在論文中使用"a big question mark"是否不夠正式？編輯回：是有一點.不然改成a huge uncertainty吧當下看到編輯的回應時.其實非常不高興. 因為該編輯公司號稱是請名校相關領域博士生修改. 既然如此.但為何連學術文章的適當用字都不清楚？而且這情形不是只有一句而已.其他幾個修改後的句子也有類似的問題都是在我一一指出後.編輯才再改成較正式的用字換言之.假如我不提出.也許就傻傻地寄出這篇文章當Writing sample了更甚者.其實我的文章裡面的時態有很多不一致的地方.但編輯也沒有指出來而是我請在Standford念歷史博班的HE學姐幫我再讀一次WS後.學姐告訴我的根據這個經驗. 我認為這個公司可能對外包的博班編輯並沒有切實要求與監督導致這些編輯以散漫的心態來修改文章.或是以為客戶看不出來他們的敷衍不過這家唯一的優點是可以用中文向負責聯絡的陳先生溝通適合英文程度普通.或難以用全英文向外國編輯聯絡者反過來說.如果找到其他家的類似優點者.就不一定要找這家啦～ ************************************************************************** 個人的小碎念：我認為一個理想的editor.不應該只是修改文法而以.而應該帶著腦袋閱讀要修改的文章其實從修改成果看來.許多編輯者似乎都自恃為native speaker. 根本沒仔細反思文意.進而去思考我想表達什麼.為什麼要說這些.要如何讓句義更明晰而是直接拿個紅筆批改文法用字最後我拿到的僅是篇：文法沒有錯誤.但意思表達模糊而平淡的文章 Victoria是少數讓我覺得有認真去讀文章的編輯者從她的提問裡.我看出她的確有去思考我的表達.並嘗試幫我清楚地提出自己的想法這種透過討論與修改逐漸將語句磨利.讓思想說話的過程.才是我心中最理想的修改方式或許是限於修改金額吧.這樣的修改服務卻很少遇到.唉 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 118.168.199.1

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