[Mind] My Life as a Monkey

看板EngTalk (全英文聊天)作者lifedrifter (lifedrifter)時間16年前 (2009/04/08 22:03)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

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I don't like bananas. Yup, there, I've said it. I don't like bananas. I don't know why people always assume monkeys love bananas. I mean, in all those moving pictures, you'll always see a dumbass man attempting to fool an obviously smarter monkey with a banana. Come on, my "smarter-than-thou" cousins, just because you've seen one monkey eat one banana once upon a time doesn't meant we eat bananas all the time, alright? Grow up! If we monkeys see you humans smoke grass one time, we don't assume you're always a pothead. We'll just tell ourselves this is a confused teen who was coerced into using bong due to peer pressure, and we hope he or she will grow out of it soon. It's like us monkeys; we live in a social group, and sometimes the younger buffoons don't have any respect, so we teach them a lesson and make them pick salt crystals off our backs. And eat them. Monkeys don't have McDonald's, you do realise. Life as a monkey is tough as hell. Have you ever swung around all day and still not get any respect? You people insult us monkeys all the time! Look at King Kong! (Alright, he's a gorilla, but, hey, he's close enough) He was a cool dude, and he was the last of his kind, and you idiots have to go shoot him down because he was making some military people feel insecure by climbing all over your grossly enlarged phallic symbol. Sheesh... and have you had people stare at your ass all day? Look, some of us have red backsides because of hormones! Hormones! You people put red powder on your faces to imitate monkey asses all the time! Who's the dumb one now? Anyway, I don't like bananas. I've come out of the jungle and admitted it. Now to go have myself a swinging good time. Catch you later, (pri)mates~ -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 219.74.143.146