[Ask] Homesickness

看板EngTalk (全英文聊天)作者xyn (helluva fun)時間16年前 (2009/10/05 19:26)推噓0(0推 0噓 4→)

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※ [本文轉錄自 Eng-Class 看板] 作者: xyn (helluva fun) 看板: Eng-Class 標題: [分享] A composition written by me. 時間: Sat Oct 3 16:54:20 2009 Can anyone give me some comments on this composition which I wrote? My teacher gave me a 27/30, the highest in class, but I still want to hear your views on it. Thank you! The stairs creak under my weight, as I climb down the stairs. Creak. Creak. They reminded me of the old, rickety staircase in the house where I grew up. Everything about the house was old, even the town it was built in. As a child, I resented the place. I would dream of myself leaving the town and moving to the city, where all the joy in the world awaited my arrival. Yet now, when I finally am living the gream, I catch myself thinking of the old house and of the old town, longing to return. When I first moved to the city, joy and happiness filled me and overflowed like the Niagara Falls. Many new things awaited me. I eagerly sought out new experiences, and never once felt tired. The energy within me was like a flame which burned on and on, never dying. I looked forward to a brand new day everyday. I felt that I was truly living the dream I had dreamnt of for twenty years, and that the dream would never end. Little did I know, that one day, I would be jolted awake from this dream. What was it that woke me up, I do not know. But I will never forget that feeling when reality finally dawned upon me. It was as though someone had thrown the curtains wide open and sunlight flooded in. The heat, the light, hit my face, and all of a sudden, everything became clear to me. Too clear. Things which excited me before, excited me no more. New experiences tired me. The flame within mr no longer burned like before. With each passing day, the flame grew smaller and smaller. I started looking for things which reminded me of my old house back in the old town. But I was afraid to look at them. I dreaded each new day, as everyday, I would find more and more things reminding me of home. I tried to fight the feeling, but it just kept coming back. It just kept coming back. I finally sat myself down and thought about my seven years in the city. I had been happy all these seven years, but I realised that Iwas happier in the old town. Memories of the old town flooded my mind. Old, ancient houses lined the streets neatly. Elderly people strolled along the streets, reminiscing about the past and resenting the present. Mothers thronged towards the old market to buy the week's groceries. The man of the house headed to their workplaces. Those with nothing to do, crowded around the town house for various reasons. Children headed to the rundown school at the edge of the town. Every Sunday, the whole town would squeeze into the old church in the middle of the town. The atmosphere was always lively, unlike in the city, where everything was done in a flurry. In the city, people rushed from one place to another. Neighbours brushed past each other without even a nod of acknowledgement. Elderly people whiled the time away in nursing homes, waiting for their children to come and vist them. On weekends, people cooped up in their own hoes, watching television and playing computer games. On Sundays, churches were almost empty, everyone was too busy in their own homes to come to church. Thinking about htese scenes, a wave of sadness came over me. I could not take it anymore. With home beckoning, and the city becoming too sad to bear, I made the decision to go home. Back to the old town, back to the old house, back to where I truly belong. I made all neccessary preparations for my journey home and informed my roommate of my decision to leave. Her reaction was so strong, I did not expect it. She lashed out at me for leaving her to bear the rent of the apartment we shared. She accused me of not being a friend and even accused me of hating her . She went on for an hour, while I stood, staring at her in shock. Her accusations hit me like a ton of bricks. Anger welled up inside me as her groundless accusations continued. When she paused to take a breath, I took the opportunity to retaliate. I lashed out equally groundless accusations about her. I did not mean it, but the anger within me was too great, I could not control myself. I knew my words were hurting her, but they flowed out of my mouth fast and furiously. It was as though the floodgates of my mouth were opened and the words rushed out non- stop. When I finally stopped, my roommate was speechless. An eerie silence settled around us, as we stared at each other. If a pin had dropped then, we would have heard it like a crash cymbal. She turned and left. She did not return home for the next few days and I was beginning to worry about her. I knew that I had hurt her deeply and would give anything to just take back those words. Now, as I climb down the rickety, old stairs of the apartment block, my heart is heavy, as heavy as a billion tonnes of bricks. Not because I am leaving the city today, but because of my friendship with my roommate. The friendship I flushed down the toilet with those hurtful words. My roommate still has not returned and I am sick with worry. She rejected my calls and idnored me when I went to look for her workplace. I am not hoping that she will forgive me, but I cannot bear to see our friendship go down the drain just like that. I start having secong thoughts about returning home. One part of me wants to stay and continue my attempt to save our friendhip. The other part of me is longing for home. I am at a conflict with myself and cannot come to a decision. When I reach the lading of the stairs, I find my roommate waiting for me. She is telling me that she has forgiven me and encourage me to go back home, to the old town. Tears well up in my eyes, and before I know it, I am sobbing uncontrollably. Not because I am sad, but because I am grateful. What is she saying now? I do not know. All I knoew is that she is a wonderful friend and that there is no one else quite like her. I return now, to the old house, the old town I once resented, with a light heart. So light, I feel as though I am floating in the air. The wind is blowing now, and I start dancing with the wind. The stares from passers-by, the attention I am attracting, mean nothing to me. I am happy, and I am not afraid to show it. Who knows what the future has installed for me, but I eagerly anticipate it. When it finally arrives, I will receive it with open arms. I am eagerly anticipating. Teacher's comments: A very thoughtful and well-written composition. I particularly appreciated the description of and comparison between the small town and the city. That was expertly handled. However, it might be better to present the story fully in the past tense though . What do you think? Just a suggestion. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 121.6.73.112 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 121.7.74.119 ※ 編輯: xyn 來自: 121.7.74.119 (10/05 19:26) ※ 編輯: xyn 來自: 121.7.74.119 (10/05 19:28)