[ JJ ] 字神160326托福寫作解析分享

看板TOEFL_iBT (TOEFL_iBT托福)作者liamasso (字神帝國)時間10年前 (2016/03/30 17:27)推噓0(0推 0噓 0→)

留言0則, 0人參與討論串1/1

威廉老師分享：3月26日托福獨立寫作範文與解析各位同學大家好，上週考到這一篇，看似容易的題目，但也容易偏題，威廉老師在這和大家分享這篇的解析！祝福大家都考取理想成績。《字神真經第一套: 獨立寫作》 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends. 威廉老師解題: (old friends)老朋友是否會由於空間發生變化而喪失?？這種感情是否會隨著時間空間的變化而減弱嗎？老朋友的定義是? 就是因為是老朋友所以應該就是不會因為空間不同而不理對方。但話又說回來，到了一個新的地方，自己也會因為環境而又交了新朋友或是舊朋友因為跟你的距離遠了，也許他們的生活圈也有變化了，也有了新朋友。但說實在話，有沒有心，要不要維持這友誼，才是最重要，現在科技發達了，距離應該不是問題~~~ (有時，最遠的距離，就是心愛的人在你身旁，可是他卻不知道你在喜歡他/她 →well，寫作，最害怕的就是這樣偏題!!) 重點: 寫時要把”Old”這個字也寫出喔! 還有一點很重要，就是→不是只有搬到”新”地方，以題目的隱含意義來說，是搬到一個”遠”地方，這文中的條件情境才可以發揮。 Sample writing: People need friends. As the proverb says, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” For old friends, people have been spending time together for a long time and they understand each other well. So whether it is a good thing to move to a new place on the condition of the risk of losing old friends depends on how people interpret the term “friendship.” To me, personally, I do not agree with the statement. That is, old friends will not leave even if people move to a new city or a new country. Initially, new technology allows people to connect each other in a convenient way.(主題)With the development of the latest technology, such as Facebook, Skype and smartphones, people can keep in touch with their friends whenever they desire, wherever they are. For instance, when a student moves to a new town which is far away from the place he or she lives, old friends can be reached just a phone call away. They can still talk, chat and even see each other real time through webcams.By sharing the time together, friends can still know each other well in what is happening and in the moment when good, sad or exciting things occur. Such emotional dependence as well as support is not severed just because old friends move to a new city or country.(拉回題目) Secondly, if old friends move to a new far place, the new environment can tighten the friendship.That is, friends have more topics and life experience to share. When people relocate to a new place, they need to familiarize themselves with the new place, new environment and new people. Especially when people move to a place far away from their original neighborhood, they will definitely have more to say and share about, for instance, different kinds of traditional food in the new city or country. As a good case in point,one of my friends moved to Chicago and he shared a special pizza, called “deep dish pizza” with me. Having discussed about the cheese used on it and how the taste is like, we talked every day and I ended up paying him a visit in the summer. By exchanging information with each other, people can share their opinions on everything, such as culture. Old friends will keep updating each other new exciting things around them no matter where they are. Through constant talking or discussing new topics, friendship can be built up stronger. Another example, by living in a new country, we can help old friends to arrange a living place or to help them buy items in a less expensive price as in garments, watches or vitamin supplement.The process of contacting each other on different purposes upon living in a new place, friendship will certainly be closer. Coins have two different sides that if we cut it through in a different angel, long physical distance would of course have an impact on the friendships, new or old alike.Owing to moving into a new city or country, people have less opportunities or accesses to meeting friends. It is more difficult to easily see each other like before. When people move to a new place, they also need to take more time to adapt themselves to the new environment. Meanwhile, they need to find their own new friends in, for instance, their working place, in the community or in the school. This is true to some extent; however, in my opinion,with the development of advanced technology, mobile phones, MSN and other social websites, it is indeed possible for one to make a contact with some friends instantly. Besides, intercity trains and airplanes can also help people go from one country to another in just few hours. In this case, without living in the same city or country, friends can also communicate with each other like the old time and we would not lose them. In this global village, it is not a rare sight to witness people moving from town to town or even from one country to another country. Due to work requirements, new opportunities or marriages, modern people are constantly on the move. It is not logical if we are just afraid of moving to a new place on the account of losing old friends. Old friends are those people who have known each other for a long period of time. Thus, I do not agree with statement. 其它精簡寫法: 首段: 1: To move or not to move: That is the question. Will people really lose their old friends when they move to a new place far away? Personally, I do not think so, for they can still in close contact in many ways with their old friends with the distance. (Word count: 49) 2:“A friend in need is a friend indeed. ”Old friendship will not disappear if people move to a new town or country. Still some people might think that distance will make the friendship diminished; for me, I oppose to this statement for some reasons described below. (Word count: 46) 大綱提取範例(一) 1. 立場: 老朋友不會因為你搬走而失去可用的proverb“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” 2. 中間段第一段: Topic Sentence→Latest Technology can help people to keep contacting. a. Facebook, Skype and smartphones, MSN, Webcams: They can still talk, chat and even see each other real time through webcams. b. Can still share good times or bad times together→friendship is there 自己想到的→poor test scores, friends consolation. Birthday, call me, send me presents, sing happy birthdays songs to me… 第二段: Topic Sentence→the new environment can tighten the friendship instead of estranging/ alienating/ departing from the old friendship. a. New places or environment make people have more topics to say→food, culture Chicago→deep dish pizza 自己想到的→Japan→noodles→salty→need to make louder eating sound→respect Korea→Kimchi→spicy food→tolerance of spiciness increase. Philadelphia→Hoagies, a kind of hot dog, larger… b. By living in a new country, we can help old friends to arrange a living place or to help them buy items in a less expensive price as in garments→ 自己想到的→(outlet, books, school information) 第三段:(讓步段)會失去老友 Old friends will also need to adapt to the new environment. Less time with us. a. More difficult to easily see each other like before b. Need to make new friends. (Their working place, community or in the school.) c. HOWEVER, technology can conquer this difficult + convenient transportation (intercity trains and airplanes) 3. 最後段尾段 + 讓步段 1: Irrefutably, it may not be a good thing to move to a new place far away since some old friends will be in less contact, leading to the loss of friendship that distance really estranges people. However, I still think this will not happen readily. As Benjamin Franklin once said, “What are left in the old days of a person? Old dogs, ready money and— old friends.” Old friends are there always. (Word count: 73) 2: Admittedly, some people may worry about losing old friends if they move to a new place or country far away, such as adaption to the new environment or new friendship cultivation and the like, making them alienated from old friends. To me, nevertheless, I still think that it is not an adverse thing to do so. Life is short, “friendship” long, after all. -- 更多字神免費講座：http://goo.gl/Qe2e4r 更多免費進班試聽：http://goo.gl/EHMqle TOEFL學習團托福JJ情報資源、問題探討、考試情報交流 https://goo.gl/yr0NPS GMAT學習團每月GMAT數學、閱讀、邏輯機經整理、問題探討、考試情報交流 https://goo.gl/GYbTNs -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 118.163.4.181 ※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/TOEFL_iBT/M.1459330041.A.C0B.html