Re: [請益] 拜託幫我訂正一下自介

看板Eng-Class (英文板)作者iamamiba (amiba)時間14年前 (2011/12/02 09:18)推噓1(1推 0噓 1→)

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先大致上改一改但關於邏輯合表達的部份建議再多寫一些東西 [ ] 是我建議的段落順序還有你需要寫個結尾提出為什麼你是此面試機會最佳人選的理由 ※ 引述《yetta2011 (加油!)》之銘言： : 星期六要面試了 : 寫了一篇簡單的自我介紹 : 希望板上大大可以幫我修一下 : 謝謝! : My name is XXX. 21 years old. I come from Taipei, it is a convenient city : and I was born in a warm family.I'm a senior in Fu Jen University and my major : is Accounting. I choose it because the future. [1] My name is xxx. I am an Accounting major in my senior year studying at Fu Jen University. (幾歲跟是台北人跟你適不適合你面試的機會無關所以不需要在此提供再來你可以形容為什麼你對Accounting有興趣而不是只是為了籠統的"未來") : I'm an easygoing girl. I get along with other people very well. : My favorite activity in my leisure time is read novels and newspaper . : I have ever attended the volunteer club. The club’s members are from : different kind of departments, so I met many people there. In that club, I : found how happiness I am. [4] 這裡是講個人個性跟喜好應該放在最後一段或倒數第二段前兩句可以刪你可以用你參與的活動舉例你如何跟他人相處愉快直接講只是自我誇讚先挑兩句改文法 "I attended the volunteer club...繼續 "I found how happy I am because...繼續" 例子永遠比用簡單形容詞來得有說服力 : I also did a lot of part-time job in my college life. It could not only : extend my social life , but also learn the skill how to deal with the problem. : ***新增的*** [3] Aside from school I had many part-time job experiences during college. they not only enriched my social life but also improved my problem solving skill. : Freshman year, second grade, when my grades were not good. : But I did not give up, I still have to find their own way of reading. : In the third year of college, I have great achievements and progress, let me : know, if you work hard, nothing is impossible. : 大一大二的時候，我的成績不好 : 但我沒有放棄，我還是一直在尋找適合自己的讀書方式 : 直到大三，我的成績有大幅的進步，讓我了解到，只要肯努力，沒有什麼事情 : 是做不到的。 [2] During the first two years of college, even though I earned less desirable grades, I continued to search for a more productive way of learning. As a result I made strong progress starting Junior year, and showed myself that nothing is unachievable as long as one is willing to work hard. [5] 結尾 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 209.6.69.122