Re: [請益] 拜託幫我訂正一下自介

看板Eng-Class (英文板)作者hoch (Sanctuary)時間14年前 (2011/12/02 18:34)推噓3(3推 0噓 5→)

留言8則, 2人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

: [1].My name is xxx. I am an Accounting major in my senior year studying at Fu : Jen University. My name is Michael Jordan. I am a senior college student at 輔仁 univerisity. I'll be graduating next year with a bachelor degree in accounting. : [2].During the first two years of college, even though I earned less desirable : grades, I continued to search for a more productive way of learning. As a : result I made strong progress starting Junior year, and showed myself that : nothing is unachievable as long as one is willing to work hard. 其實我覺得這一整段都是畫蛇添足。不過你堅持的話： As you can see from my transcripts, I didn't earn very good grades for the courses that I took in the first two years. [這裡要講清楚，為何你前兩年考不好，否則你原先的講法，只有減分效果。個人意見] It was in part due to the fact that most of the required courses in the two years are not directly related to accounting, and at the same time I had quite a number of volunteer works on and off campus, so I didn't pay enough attention to the courses. Nevertheless I am sure that I've got good performance for all the courses related to accounting. : [3].Aside from school I had many part-time job experiences during college. : they not only enriched my social life but also improved my problem : solving skill. Again，個人覺得 "part-time job" 和 "problem solving skill" 之間的關係很薄弱。打工只能 "enrich social life" 吧。 I've had many off-campus working experiences, including ....[把他們寫出來] I think those experiences are extremely helpful in terms of improving my inter-personal communication skills, and more importantly, giving me invaluable opportunity to become a good team-worker. : **自己修的部份 : [4].I attended the volunteer club. I get along with other people well. : I found how happy I am because I met many people there and make a lot : of friends. Other than the part-time employments that I described above, I've also participated in many volunteer organizations, such as ... ... and ... [我覺得重點是，這些志工服務對你未來的工作，有哪些幫助] I think volunteer work is important because "giving something back", or "helping others" is my way to express gratitude to the society. : [5].I am the best person because I work hard, not afraid of difficult, : I have confidence do the job well. : 我很努力，也不怕辛苦，我有信心可以把工作做好。 : Thank you for your time. "afraid" 好像不適合用在 difficulty。通常都是 afraid of dogs 之類的。 "the best person" 也很怪。 I am confident about my qualification for this position. I am willing to take whatever challenges and sincerely hope you could give me an opportunity to work at IBM. 個人覺得不需要 "thank you for your time"。要說的話： With that I end my introduction, and I welcome any further questions. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 120.126.36.193