[News] Housework & sex:what's the connection?
from CNN work/life
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(LifeWire) -- Jen Simmons loves to watch her husband Danny tend to their
two little boys, mop the floor or hang a picture. She also finds it sexy.
Men do more housework than they used to, a study says, although they create
more of it.
"I am very turned on when he's doing housework," says the 36-year-old Camden,
Delaware resident, a middle school teacher.
"If there's a sink full of dirty dishes, he knows I'm going to take care of
that before I want to get intimate. If he wasn't helping with the housework,
I would not find that very attractive."
Simmons' attitude is pretty typical of married women, researchers say. They
like it when their spouses share the household chores, but also find that --
paradoxically -- a husband may also create more work for them, or not
contribute as much as women would like. In other words, science has once again
proven what many people already suspect: Relationships take work, especially
when it comes to keeping a happy (and tidy) home.
Good news, bad news
First, the good news: Men are doing more than they used to, according to
findings released in April by the University of Michigan's Institute for
Social Research. For example, in 1976, men did about six hours of housework
per week; in 2005, that had increased to about 13 hours. Women, meanwhile,
decreased their weekly housework from 26 hours in 1976 to 17 hours in 2005.
Researchers based their conclusions on economic, health and social data
collected on 8,000 American families since 1968.
And, says one expert, a more equitable division of household duties may lead
to more intimacy in the bedroom.
"A guy can be completely stressed out and want to have sex to burn it off,
but women are not wired like that," says Coleman, who is also a member of
the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research organization.
Instead, he says, women need to feel relaxed in order to feel sexy --
and it's hard to unwind when there are chores to be done and a husband
who's oblivious to them. Calculate how much time you spend doing chores,
working, relaxing ?
Now, the bad news: The same research found that men create, on average, seven
more hours of housework a week for women. That extra work may not be as obvious
as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. So-called "emotional labor" -- tasks
like writing holiday cards, scheduling doctor appointments and planning family
gatherings -- is too often left to wives, says University of Michigan
sociologist Pamela Smock.
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