[Mind] Oversensitivity
I'm in the write-an-essay mood lately, as you can see. Must be
those finals. They're right around the corner and I feel
like escaping reality.
Anyway, today's subject is, as the title indicates:
Over-sensitive and over-defensive people.How do we deal with them?
Also, constantly striving to not be offensive to any group of
people-even Online--taking it too far? How is anyone to hold a
discussion without fearing they'd accidentally offend someone?
And to be honest, everyone has different things that set them off.
How do we know who's reading? Can't we just have a fun
conversation?
Must people read so much into the meaning and connotations of
a word?
To tell the truth, I'm rather torn on how I feel about
this don't offend issue (which ties in with the really sensitive people).
Sometimes, I agree that we should be considerate of which group of
individuals we might be offending when we talk carelessly, but
at the same time, I'm just participating an online discussion
for fun, I don't want to be so serious and careful about everything.
I am a straightforward person, and I like other people being candid
with me.
Unfortunately, we can't assume that everyone is the same, and it's
ALWAYS the straightforward people who have to change. If they don't
change, it's always the *GASP* How dare you! Don't you have any
morality?! Don't you have a heart?! You racist/sexist/ableist/etc!
So honestly, I get pissed off by over-sensitive, over-defensive
people who whine about...practically everything, even when I myself
think it's not THAT offensive. I mean, come on, even using the word
PMSing is considered offensive? What? I am just astounded. I consider
myself a feminist, but I use the word PMS'ing from time to time myself,
I think it can describe a person's behavior beautifully. I don't think
the word only applies to women--to me, it's a figure of speech.
(No, I was not the one who got hell over using that term. I just
saw someone use that term online and then some people started
complaining about how offended they were by the use of the word 'PMSing'--
And I don't get it. Even though I see their point, I also don't think
they should be so serious all the time,) I don't think it's a big deal.
It's the internet. All sorts of people are going to be on it. Not everyone
knows what they say will be offending to someone from a different culture
or background.
I am appalled by how sensitive people are, and how they demand for the
rest of the world to comply to their sensitive souls. Personally, the
fact that they are always reacting so negatively and violently over
something I find trivial is offensive to ME. I think they are
controlling, too controlling. The word describing female dogs is
also offensive to some people...but I don't see what's so offensive
about it. I think the word is pretty flexible and quite fun to use,
when not used as a direct insult. And there are a lot of ways to
utilize that b-word, but that's another story.
On the other note, I do get annoyed when someone uses the word 'gay'
as a subsitute for 'stupid' or whatever other generic insult. What
can I say, I'm a lover of slash/BL fiction, so I am pro-gay and pro-lesbian.
I honestly don't see the connection between gay and stupid/etc, I see the
use stemming from homophobia and therefore I agree that the negative
use of the word 'gay' is offensive.
Also, I didn't know how offensive the word 'retard' was, seriously--I
used it all the time in middle school, high school, and my freshmen
year in college. Then, recently, while lurking around in some discussions,
I saw the drama online over the use of that word. Okay. People who
actually know those with mental disabilities can get offended. We
all take for granted out abilities to learn normally and don't
understand how hard those who are mentally retarded need to work in
order to comprehend what normal people can comprehend easily. Those
with Down Syndrome are labeled as mentally retarded and often ridiculed
by the society as a result, I knew that but I didn't know how
offensive the word was. I sympathized and quietly felt ashamed about
my prior ignorance. It's great that you can learn things online,
even when lurking.
Thus, I am not entirely against trying not to be offensive to any
group of people. Actually, I agree it is best to keep public
discussions in a neutral tone.
However.
They have a negative word for this strive to not be offensive to
marginalized groups:
Political Correctness.
PCness does gets annoying sometimes (which is why PC is actually a
perjorative word).
After all, the meaning of words CHANGE, the usage and the purpose of
words CHANGE. They should read something by Laozi or Zhuangzi--come
on, even ancient people knew that the meanings of words would change.
Some words start out meaning this, end up meaning something different
after some decades or hundreds of years (at least this happens in
Chinese or English.)
Similarly, some words started out negative, and now they're not-so-negative.
But some people are just so caught up with the connotations behind
certain words and figures of speech, claiming discrimination,
insensitivity, etc.
I, for one, often don't even know that using the word 'nazi' (now often
used to describe controlling people) was offensive until I saw the
people flip out online over some person's icon which had a picture
of Hitler under a comedic light. They proceeded to say how offensive
the term 'grammar nazi' was to them and they were sick of it being
used. It was just some funny icon, albeit one with a badly tasted
humor, I guess.
Not to mention, despite thinking that the jokes are funny, I know,
and the person who used that icon probably also knew, full well of
what the Nazis have done, what Hitler has done--I read the books
and watched the documentaries on the Holocaust. I don't
think that using them (the nazis) as jokes will lessen my awareness
and disgust of what humans can do. Maybe that's just me and a couple
others who are less sensitive. Okay, so some people don't get the humor,
they get offended instead. And then they start to get riled up about it (aka
causing drama), acting as though the person who made the 'offensive'
joke had intended to offend others personally. **** that.
Just reading the discussion online pissed the hell out of me.
Do they have to be so whiny? They can just ignore it, it's the internet,
all sorts of crap is going to be out there (just as I can ignore them,
but this has been irking me for a LONG while). Not one can please everyone.
Everyone gets offended by different things.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO OFFEND.
These people act all high-and-mighty about how they are so conscious
about what is and what is not offensive when they're doing the same
thing, being offensive. Maybe it's their sense of humor, that this
will give others a taste of their own medicine--but not really, not
when the person clearly (to me and a couple of other people) had no
intention to offend. Not to mention, doing so actually makes them look worse.
Do they feel good continuing to rebuke someone who has apologized already?
It really annoys me, the overreaction and all.
A lot of things are only offensive when you take offense.
So yeah, by the aforementioned definition, what the person said IS offending;
but I wish people can stop being so self-entitled and snotty when
the person has already apologized and said they didn't mean to offend.
They don't have to act like the person who has made the mistake is stupid
and insensitive. It's not that they want to be insensitive, okay? Not
everyone is high on the EQ department, sometimes they really ARE
clueless. We can't read minds. Not everyone is the same, so
they won't understand why things are offensive to others.
Just like these candid people can't understand how sensitive people
work, sensitive people shouldn't be so harsh on candid people--they
don't understand how straightforward people work, either.
Not everyone has a freaking sensitive soul, not everyone is so conscious
about marginalized groups, not every potentially offensive person gets
a kick out of offending others.
There is no ****ing black and white.
It's annoying when I see these overreacting people refuse to forgive
others, when they have zero-tolerance and think it's okay to have
zero-tolerance, that they are justified to have zero-tolerance. Granted,
I probably agree with most of their views, but I don't agree with them
completely, and I especially don't agree with their attitude.
It's just stupid and hypocritical. I wish there was some sort of
compromise about this issue. Everytime I only see the straightforward
people apologizing and the easily-offended people still not forgiving.
It's outright annoying as hell.
Of course, a lot of straightforward people don't think they're wrong
and are really self-entitled, pompous asses they are assumed to be, so the
misunderstanding balloons and hatred between both types of
people escalates. It's funny how history can repeat itself in daily
life like this. On the internet.
Nevertheless, I'm not saying we don't have to be conscious about the
words we choose, or the tone we use when in a debate. When engaged
in a serious debate online, I wholeheartedly agree that we should
choose neutral words, and try to be rational. But sometimes--actually,
a LOT of times--the drama still ensues, and some really oversensitive
and overdefensive person starts to think that they're being attacked
personally even though the other is just disagreeing with their
viewpoints and not necessarily judging them. Cue the start of
name-calling (in which I must mention: NEVER use the words: Honey,
Sweetie, Girl (pretty funny when the addressed person is actually
not a girl), blah blah in a debate. That is inviting a *****-fight.
The tone of the debate has changed from neutral to sarcastic or outright
hostile, marking the end of a neutral, polite conversation.) This is
not speaking out of personal experience alone, however.
I've seen it happen online. Too many times, in fact.
So maybe you (general you) don't agree and think the other person
is delusional or mistakened. Putting aside your irritation and
answering rationally will make you the better person, really.
Maybe politely mention how you were offended, instead of
blowing up, thinking that this slap in the hand is not going to
turn into outright bullying. If the person's really being an ass, just
ignore them if you can't reply calmly. Come back later or just don't
reply altogether.
Nevertheless, people generally see what they want to see. We call
that cognitive bias--very nasty habit of human beings. It happens
to everyone, but some people have it bad (now not just speaking
about extreme leftists, since extreme rightists are the same). They just
can't handle criticism/disagreement, they take all criticism as
personal attacks and things get ugly. I normally don't give criticism
or participate in debates, but when I see that someone backlashes
at a perfectly rational, well-intentioned criticism/counterarguement,
I get pissed off.
They could have handled it better, but no. They need to change, too,
not just demand that their opposition have to change. Maybe they have
some mental illness and they're insecure and get offended extremely
easily--but really, I don't give a rat's ass, it does not mean that
everyone has to listen to them and adhere to them. It's no excuse. Really
no excuse, I get pissed off if someone is trying to guilt-trip others
into bending to their will.
I know, I'm an asshat in this matter (or one can say I'm just an asshat
in general, which I won't deny), but I'm just annoyed by overemotional,
oversensitive, and overdefensive people. I'm annoyed by hysterics and drama.
The overdefensive people need to learn to cope with opposition,
as the criticizers should learn to be more considerate.
It's only fair if both sides compromise.
I actually think good that those issue-aware people online are teaching
us to be more conscious of marginalized people, but seriously. Stop being an
ass about it. It's because so many people are being so aggressive about
it that people brush off the concept of what they're trying to call out
as PC, and a ****load of rightists are PROUD that they are NOT PC and are
against being PC. Defeats the actual purpose, really. Being
aggressive and making offensive assumptions about other people is not going
to help one's purpose.
Anyhow, wow, what a long-ass rant, as usual.
What really inspired my rant was obviously the irritation that accompanied
me after I read some discussions.
Lately I've been reading a lot of discussions, and some of the stuff
people said there were irking me pretty badly. I usually don't
care about these things, I don't get offended when things I like get hated
on because I acknowledge the flaws of the things I like--but this
irritation has been building up for a while. I guess it's because
I relate to the people who aren't as sensitive and I sometimes
accidentally offend others as well. Sure, I write offensive articles
(like the one bashing Creationalism etc), but those are mostly
to amuse myself and like-minded people.
--
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◆ From: 118.168.237.146
※ 編輯: BloodLust801 來自: 118.168.237.146 (05/25 05:44)
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