Re: [Mind] Shit

看板EngTalk (全英文聊天)作者zofloya (insanity)時間15年前 (2010/03/05 00:55)推噓3(3推 0噓 10→)

留言13則, 5人參與討論串3/3 (看更多)

The most painful thing in the world is to know that the quality or principal you value most doesn't exist in your relatives, especially your mom and dad, while that you dislike or even despise most in them. Sure, they care about us. No doubt, they do everything for our own good, at least that's what they think, in spite of any inconveience or consequences which would be brought on your life. When we were young, their protective gestures and behavior played an important role for our survival. They were responsible for what we did as youngsters. Therefore, it's undebatable that they considered us a part of their properties and we were compliant to their arrangments in our life then. However, the older we get, the more I learn, the more we realize that we are an independent individual able to and willing to take full responsibility for ourselves, and that what they have instilled in us conflicts with our viewpoint or belief. We start to question their words and to assert our stance which is unpleasant to them just because it's different from theirs, not because it's a worse choice. As a result, we start to think about escaping. We start to feel that life without them around could be enjoyable. We do what we do at that time for escape's sake. For example, we would choose a college far away from hometown. We become reluctant to join their social gatherings. Nevertheless, The harder we try to detach from thier thought that we are part of their properties, the worse parent-child relatioship becomes. We are not ungrateful. We just have our own part of life to live, and that part of life we want to be totally in charge of. So, what is the solution? Well, people say, "communication, communication and communication." But how could you communicate with the embeded mindset that we are owned by them and we are always their "children" incapable of growing up and independent? As long as they can't let go of their tendency to controlling our life, there is no successful or satisfactory communication whatsoever to be achieved. I don't about other species, but as far as humanity is concerned, relationship between paretns and their children is the strangest and confusing one ever. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 218.171.142.159