[心得] 有人PhD讀超過7年嗎?
最近恐慌又陡然上升, 強烈懷疑我的PhD生涯超過7年,
甚至沒有盡頭, 甚至可能放棄,
夜深人靜時真的覺得自己好悲哀 可卻又哭不出來
到底哪時是盡頭呢, 不清楚
老闆的冷漠和鄙視, 讓我每一天都好難過,
論文數量太少, 研究能力差, 邏輯不好, 英文寫作不好, 求知慾消極,
全部都加諸在我身上了, 其他人全都安然無恙, 就我一個,
5年過去了, 只發了兩篇普通的會議論文,
今年好不容易擠出一篇 IEEE TVT, 老闆說還要再一篇比TVT高的才能畢業
老闆不想留我, 而是他想讓我主動放棄, 滾出他的實驗室,
讀了5年後, 身體變差了, 心理變脆弱了, 越來越依賴安眠藥了,
發現老闆的研究主題我越來越不敢興趣, 甚至厭惡,
不只一次想過放棄, 都被父母,好友,學弟妹先壓下,
我所有對研究的熱忱一點一滴的, 就在28到33這段黃金歲月被逐漸消磨殆盡,
積蓄沒了, 女友跑了, 健康喪失了, 人變怯懦了.
幻想過無數次明天就是口試, 都快瘋了
天好黑
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※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 150.65.111.140
※ 編輯: glenrice 來自: 150.65.111.140 (09/13 03:59)
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半夜5點 老闆寫了封信 疾言厲色責怪我遲遲沒回他信 實際上我隔天立刻回他了,
還好聲好氣的請他再檢查一次email, 結果 只換來一句淡淡的抱歉
眼淚不爭氣的掉了..
※ 編輯: glenrice 來自: 150.65.111.140 (09/13 04:59)
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