Re: [寫作班]stapler by star2000
※ 引述《star2000 (昨夜風)》之銘言:
: A stapler is a tool that combines together sheets of paper or other
: materials by driving a thin mental staple through the sheets and
: folding over the ends to secure the paper, according to the definition of
: Wikipedia.
: However, our company is giving a stapler a new definition and making it
: much fun than before. We call it "ftapler." A ftapler can combine
^^^建議加個more
: together ingredients of food by stiring a bunch of ingredients and
^^^^^^^ stirring?
: making it a new dish. You will never know what kind of dish you will get.
: A ftapler will be a new tool for housewives or even chefs. You put any
^^^^建議用定冠詞The ^^這裡建議加逗點
: ingredients you like in a ftapler, wait five minutes, and pour them out on a
^^^^要加for ^^^^^
可用onto
: plate. A dish is made!!
: Can you imagine how much time you are going to save and how much fun you
: are going to get?
: Try our new product, ftapler. We guaranteed you can get cash back if you
: are not satisfied with our product. Call it now 800-800-8800. You can get
退款有簡單的句子可用:100% refund guarateed.
: 20% off if you call in 5 hours. It is time limited! Do not wait otherwise
^^^^^^^^^^^^建議用time-limited
加個"-"把兩個字變成一個形容詞
: you would miss the best offer in this year!
最後這句可以用Don't wait, or you will...
這樣語氣更強烈。
: ----------------------------------------------------
: I make it up as an advertisement becasue I am a business major. :p
: I hope it is ok.
You did a good job. Well done :)
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