Re: [寫作班] 托福第14週 nozomii 1

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者fleuve (:D)時間16年前 (2008/07/02 00:26)推噓1(1推 0噓 1→)

留言2則, 2人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

※ 引述《nozomii (nozomi)》之銘言： : ※ 引述《dvlin (Dee)》之銘言： : : Choose one of the following topics. : : 1. Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy : : them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and : : examples to support your opinion. : I prefer to preserve the old, historic buildings of a city than destroy : all of them. First, the old buildings are the symbol of culture. The design : and the building skills of the old buildings are always the best teacher to -------------------? ------too absolute : teacher us the beauty of that place. teach * It is better that evidence can be provided for this argument (even in just one sentence). : Second,the old buildings stand for the past time of that place. Because , the : the buildings are not removable, they stand there since they were built and have stood : have seen all the things happened there. They are the best teller and : evidences to tell all stories of the city. evidence * evidence is a non-count noun. : For example, my home town, Tainan, preserves a lot of old, historic : buildings and famous for these buildings in Taiwan. It is really a good For example, there are a lot of old, historic buildings preserved in Tainan, which are very famous in Taiwan. : opportunity for people to know the culture and history through these old : buildings, and it is also the most important reason why to perserve the for preserving : old buildings. : In conclusion, there are some reasons that why we should to preserve the xx : old and historic buildings instand of destroying all of them. Because of the instead : development of the modern city these days, it is usually hard to make a : balance between the old building and modern ones. However, preserving the old What do you mean by "making a balance between the old...and modern ones"? I personally think that the sentence is unclear. @@ : buildings still has his own reasons and important meanings of the culture and its * But it is recommended that you rephrase the sentence. : history of a city. It is why I prefer that a city should preserve the old, : historic buildings than destroy all of them. * General comments: There are not many grammatical errors. The only problem is that there is only one point throughout the essay: old buildings could be good material for the citizens to know their culture and history. But in paragraph 2 and 3, there are only repeated statements that "old buildings" could teach the people of the city many things; there is little solid evidence provided to support the argument. The language is good, the essay very smooth, but the argument is not very convincing. For your reference. ^^; fleuve -- 然後有一天我ꄠ 靠在窗前，會發現原來我是株 ╭╮──╪──╭╮ 不＊ fleuve ＊需要陽光的植物︴1mK︴30m直到有一天我閉上眼睛 ╰╯──╪──╰╯ 看不見自己、卻可以看見你…ꄠ ♂ --