Re: [寫作班] 托福第15週 hsnudrum, 4

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者fleuve (:D)時間16年前 (2008/07/02 02:46)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

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※ 引述《hsnudrum (寶寶加油喔!:))》之銘言： : ※ 引述《dvlin (Dee)》之銘言： : : 4. Some people say that computers have made life easier and more : : convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex : : and stressful. What is your opiion? Use specific reasons and examples : : to support your answer. : In this modern world, computer is undoubtedly a significant change to our computers are in : life. Although some people may think that computers are complex tools and lives complicated : have made life more stressful, I prefer to believe that computers have made : our life easier and more convenient. lives : First of all, we could do things and manage our time more efficiently by : using a computer. For instance, only through the computers could scientists computers computers : calculate the most complicated formulas and data in a very short time. With a x : computer, a business man can easily contact his/her customers by using the computers, business men their xxx I changed the singular nouns to plural ones to avoid the awkward expressions (his/her). : email. In addition, students could easily get a lot of information by serving surfing : the Internet when they have to write reports. : Second, the computers could save much money for us and also keep our xxx : environment not be destroyed by people so easily. For example, we could buy ------------------------------------------------?? It does not seem to connect to the next sentence. : things we want from other countries through Internet, and do not need to pay ^the without paying for the airfare. : for the expensive plane tickets. Besides, people use email instead of xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : conventional envelops, which may contribute a great consumption of trees in letters consume a lot of trees in the world. : the world. : Finally, for the reasons discussed above, I believe that computers have made : our life more convenient and easier. lives easier and more convenient. 順序調過來念起來比較不會頭重腳輕@@ * General comments: I think the first point you make is clear, but the second one needs more evidence to convince the readers. Or maybe the confusion is caused because you do not explain your ideas very clearly in the second point. And also, the essay could be a little longer.^^ For your reference.^^; fleuve -- 然後有一天我ꄠ 靠在窗前，會發現原來我是株 ╭╮──╪──╭╮ 不＊ fleuve ＊需要陽光的植物︴1mK︴30m直到有一天我閉上眼睛 ╰╯──╪──╰╯ 看不見自己、卻可以看見你…ꄠ ♂ -- ※ 編輯: fleuve 來自: 118.168.40.70 (07/02 04:02)