Re: [寫作班] 托福第33週 citc 3

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者excrement (the essence of love)時間15年前 (2009/05/20 05:47)推噓0(0推 0噓 0→)

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Overall it's an well-organized essay, however, much wrong use of propositions may disrupt reading. Some wording probelms also occur. I will not point out every problem, just to name a few. ※ 引述《citc (leo)》之銘言： : 3. When people need to complain about a product or poor service, some : prefer to complain in writing and others prefer to complain in person. : Which way do you prefer? : People usually have opinions to services or products they bought. The about : communication is an important issue for people to transmit viewpoints. ~~~~~~~~~ "express their" might be better : The feedbacks from consumers not only help the improvement of product but also feedback--uncountable : could examine the services after selling. In the store or shopping malls, the : company provides special papers to survey the consumer's opinion. After ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~questionnaires? : services, some people can score toward all aspects of services and give : thoughts in the papers that was designed for survey. In the other hand, some ~~~~~~~~~~ Survey is countable. and it is "On" the other hand, although it's a bit weird to use this phrase here. : people do not satisfy with the service and then complain with seller directly. : They prefer to complain with persons but in papers. For me, I prefer the in person ~~~~~~~~~~~~?? : latter because the following reasons. of : First of all, face to face talking is more direct and correct to communication. : We can describe the detail about unsatisfied affairs or problems to the : business quickly. Sometimes sellers may be confused with their consumer’s : writing, especially in the situation that consumers could not describe the : detail patiently. Therefore, I think that complaining in person is more : efficient to discuss about problems. : Secondly, the seller can quickly respond and solve the problem when we complain : in person. For example, in the restaurant I always ask the servants to clear : the unclear table that makes me uncomfortable. In the moment, the waiter could : quickly clean the table and environments. In contrast, writing papers have the : disadvantage that we can not receive the response right away. If we could not : get the response from the company, it would seem like that people's opinions : were ignored. The final sentence is weird. I dont understand how it is related to the previous sentence? : To sum up, the company should like to understand consumer's criticism in order ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a rare construction. : to progress the quality in services or products. If we are glad to give ~~~~~~~~~~~ It seems that you like to add some descriptive phrases (like to, glad to) but it's unnecessary as sometimes it makes little sense. : opinions, that will be helpful for them. Although complaining in writing can : avoid the embarrassment of sellers, that provide lower efficiency than doing it provides : in person. Therefore, I prefer to communicate my complaints with persons. By : this way, people will have more opportunity to enjoy nice services and products : again. As said, I just pointed out a few wording/grammatical problems. however, these examples should be able to serve good illustrations for you to improve. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 128.205.231.174