Re: [寫作班] 托福第40週 qweqweqweqwe 4

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者fleuve (:D)時間15年前 (2009/08/05 00:28)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

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※ 引述《qweqweqweqwe (啪)》之銘言： : 4. Some people believe that university students should be required to attend : classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for : students. Which point of view do you agree with? : Nowadays, some of views are pointed out that students should spend more some people point out : time on cultivating their variety of interests in university live, even in/x developing interests in their university lives : though they do not attend classes. As a college student, I would argue that if university : university students can choose which classes they want to be present. Here is should attend : why. This is a good introduction. It would be better, however, if you can provide one more sentence before "As a university student...," like "Such views, however, still exist/have many drawbacks; hence, as a university student, I would argue...." The "here is why" is unnecessary and better be avoided. : First, interaction with another, can improve students communication interacting others (delete comma) ents' : ability. It is a large different from university and senior high school in There is difference between in the : educational measures. For instance, almost all of professors ask student to ^the students : discuss with another as well as a teamwork in class; therefore, not only do The professors ask students to work as a team to discuss in class. : students learn how to make an opinion in a discussion, but they also know how ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^? : to organize a logically conversation in a group. Moreover, they can gain the logical argument a conversation : capacity which is to make decisions efficient and effective, because they get "gain the capacity which is to make..." reads redundant. → They learn to make decisions efficiently and effectively... : a great deal of experience to practice in class. On the other hand, if ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^colloquial of practicing : students don not attend classes, they can not gain this skills easily; do not skill : consequently, they can not do there job smoothly with their team. their ? : Moreover, the other benefit is that students get more specific details from : lecture in class. Many students suppose that they can borrow notes from : another who attend the class, but notes may lose some important details. If others who have attended lack : students attend the class, they can write the completely notes by themselves, ? . they can take fuller/the fullest notes... : meanwhile, it will impressed them. This is the reason why many students Meanwhile impress xxx xxxxxx I don't get it why taking good notes would impress them?? Impress them? Help them? : almost get bad score in their subjects, though they have the same notes. grades in some subjects : Admittedly, the university students should attend their classes. xxxxx The word "admittedly" is wrongly used. It'd also better be avoided in the conclusion. If used this way in your essay, it means, "I must accept (even if I do not want to) that the university students should attend classes." This would make your argument and conclusion seem weird. Also, the length of the conclusion is way too short for a TOEFL writing like this. It'd be better even if you simply rephrase or summarize what has been stated in the previous paragraphs.^^ FYI^^ -- 生命的意義不在追求答案，答案只是另一個答案的問題，生命在於去體會與經歷，不管生活在哪裡。 ╭╮───╪───╭╮ ＊ fleuve ＊ ╰╯───╪───╰╯ --