Re: [寫作班] 托福第41週 qweqweqweqwe 1

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者fleuve (:D)時間15年前 (2009/08/08 19:25)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

留言1則, 1人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

※ 引述《qweqweqweqwe (啪)》之銘言： : What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? : Personally, a good boss has to possess a lot of important qualities. My : reasons are as follow. : Firstly, a good supervisor should be tolerant. It is important to give the : opportunities to employees when they do something wrong. The practical false It is important to give employees a second chance when they... : experience helps employees to grown-up gradually and gains the ability to "practical false experience"?? grow/learn gain Try rephrasing it. : solve problems when they run into the difficulties. If boss can not tolerant xxx ^a tolerate : the fails, the employees will tend to avoid the fail happenings. As matter of failure ??????????????? : the fact, nowadays, almost all supervisors can not endure that their workers : make mistakes because it may causes a lot of damage to the business, such as ?? cause what does "it" refer to? : a famous computer brand, Dell, make a serious of mistakes on the Internet, Ungrammatical (from "such....customer's confidence") a series of mistakes "serious" is an adjective, not a noun. : lost the customer’s confidence. : Moreover, the ability of organize is important, too. Almost all of the to : famous companies working patterns are teamwork in these days. Hence, how to companies' Seems grammatical but sounds weird. : integrate the organization is really helpful to a great boss. If a supervisor ^^^^^unnecessary modifier : can not cooperate with each others, it may not attain to a goal smoothly. A other : good boss should associate with all the employees that can help the teamwork (who) : more efficiently and effectively. For example, Citibank, a well-known bank ^lacking a verb : around the world, likely to recruits one talent manager who can easily ^is likely to recruit talented : organize the teams and gain the profits quickly from other corporations. : Last but not least, a good boss should accept the suggestions. Not only can : advice help boss to improve his ability of management, but it also can : benefit business to approach success. If supervisors can not accept any : suggestions from their worker, the team will become less and less suggestions workers ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "become less and less suggestions" → ??? : which can not advance business more and more. Therefore, the business will : not have any chance to innovate in this era which is changing frequently. * I can see you feel tired after writing three paragraphs...XD * Just for your information, I think the organization of the paragraphs can be changed a little. For example, I think the important traits for a boss, rating from the weakest to the strongest, are "being tolerant → accepting suggestions → good at organizations." : To conclusion, I suppose that a good supervisor should have some important In conclusion/To conclude : qualities are above. The word "suppose" somewhat weakens your conclusion. Try using words that sound more confident. -- 生命的意義不在追求答案，答案只是另一個答案的問題，生命在於去體會與經歷，不管生活在哪裡。 ╭╮───╪───╭╮ ＊ fleuve ＊ ╰╯───╪───╰╯ --