Re: [請益] 英文作文 歡迎評論
Allow me to reformat your original post, and
next time if possible please kindly try to
limit your line to ~60 characters as it would
be difficult to quote >2 times if it were 80
characters which would be the maximum allowed.
See below.
Will be edited later if i have further time
※ 引述《linpinyu (einstein)》之銘言：
: Last Wednesday, I went to the
: Carrefour Mall to buy a
^ pair of
: trouser. Before trying
^ trousers ^ trying what on?
: on, I was measured the size of waistline.
^ you were measured by whom?
^ whose waistline?
: When finding the size of my
: waistline increased two inches,
This needs to be rewritten.
: I decided to lose my weight.
You decide to lose weight. You don't decide to lose your weight
: Like most people, I go on a diet and
: do exercise at least thirty minutes.
You prolly want to write this in the past tense
: Besides that, I build a good habit of
: weighing my weight on the scale and
^ you weight yourself, not your weight.
: writing my weight in the diary. If I
: find my weight increases too much, I
^ increasing,----^
: would think what foods I eat.
This needs to be rewritten.
Note the logical problem here:
If you want to lose weight, you check your body weight and
think about your diet when it does not go down as you wished.
You don't wait till you have *increasing* weight while
on a diet...
: The road of losing weight is very long,
^ doesn't sound well
: I continue on keeping this good habit.
^ you *will* continue on keeping this habit
--
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◆ From: 218.103.212.27
※ 編輯: calchong 來自: 218.103.212.27 (05/26 01:24)
※ 編輯: calchong 來自: 218.103.212.27 (05/26 01:30)
推
05/26 08:17, , 1F
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check your tenses if you want to make it mean that way
your 4th sentence still sound strange
also consider using gerunds...
→
05/26 19:41, , 6F
05/26 19:41, 6F
推
05/27 10:48, , 7F
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※ 編輯: calchong 來自: 218.103.212.27 (05/27 11:18)
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05/28 16:28, , 8F
05/28 16:28, 8F
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