Re: [求譯]跪求請幫我看呂立是否通順非常感恩

看板Eng-Class (英文板)作者hoch (Sanctuary)時間13年前 (2013/01/28 11:31)推噓2(2推 0噓 1→)

留言3則, 3人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

: I come from a very happy nuclear family. : Before 6 years old,I grew up in the 台中 with my grandmother because my : family is Two-income household : 台中 is a small city and most people there are farmer. : I really like this town,people there are always friendly. : I am the second child in my family, My mother always tell me that I am very : independent and friendly. : Throughout my academic years , I study in night school. 文章很長，前面也有網友指出問題實在不少。如果原po是認真想要應徵空服員，建議還是花錢找人修改一下。我只有力氣舉一個例子。你看這一句: 「Throughout my academic years , I study in night school.」這一句前文是什麼？前文說「我媽怎樣怎樣...」。後文是「我曾在百貨公司打工」。前後文和「我都讀夜校」的關連性很弱。很明顯，你強調「讀夜校」，大概想讓人知道你有奮發向上，主動向學的精神。但文章裡卻看不出來。老是讓讀者自行補足絕不是好辦法。更別提「Throughout ... night school」這句話才九個字。時態也不正確。簡直是國中生造的句子：「This is a book. I have three apples.」舉例： In today's Taiwan, most people in my age are privileged enough to have full financial support to complete the tertiary education. However, coming from a family with low socioeconomic status, I had no choice but have to pursue my entire education on a part-time basis. 開頭先接前句你對家庭的描述，再把自己塑造成很悲情的小人物。然後講到自己為了求學，只好半工半讀。正好接下去你打工的故事。 : I have a part time job in office and department store. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 120.126.36.193

Re: [求譯]跪求 請幫我看呂立是否通順 非常感恩

Re: [求譯]跪求請幫我看呂立是否通順非常感恩