[Talk] The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Speaking of politics, you guys reminded me of Jon Stewart. He's nothing but
the host of a fake news show, yes,
i know it sounds wierd, but believe it or not a research claimed that the
audience of his show had more knowledge of what was happening in the news
than other traditional media (CNN,Fox). If anyone here pays enough attention
to the Oscars, you will remember him as the host of the 79th academy awards.
He will also be hosting the 80th academy awards.
But what does this have to do with politics?
Let me post some quotes of his:
"You know if I had a nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could
raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden." --Jon Stewart
"Condoleezza Rice was confirmed by a vote of 85, 13, despite a contentious
but futile protest vote by democrats. By the way, for a fun second term
drinking game, chug a beer every time you hear the phrase 'contentious but
futile protest vote by democrats.' By the time Jeb Bush is elected, you'll be
so wasted you won't even notice the war in Syria." --Jon Stewart
"On a personal note, I'm a comedian who makes fun of what I believe to be the
absurdities of our government. Make my life difficult. Make this next four
years really shitty for me, so that every morning all we can do is come in
and go, 'Madonna is doing some Kaballah thing, you wanna do that?' I'd like
that. I'm tired." --Jon Stewart
"This morning, prompted by increasing concerns about terrorism, oil prices
reached a record high as the cost of a barrel of crude is a whooping $44.34.
Wow, it seems shocking that a product of finite supply gets more expensive
the more we use it. ... Now the terror alert means higher oil prices, which
oddly enough means higher profits for oil companies giving them more money to
give to politicians whose policies may favor the oil companies such as
raising the terror alert level. As Simba once told us — it's the circle of
life." --Jon Stewart
"(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I
know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us what to do. In fact, our
government has decided that if al Qaeda attempts to disrupt our democratic
process, we are going to respond by disrupting it first." --Jon Stewart
"After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now
admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2
a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car,
but I need a ride home.'" --Jon Stewart
"President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on
Earth." --Jon Stewart
"I was not elected to serve one party." --George W. Bush (video overlay)
"You were not elected." --Jon Stewart
"I have something else to ask you, to ask every American. I ask you to pray
for this great nation." --Bush
"We're way ahead of you." --Stewart
"Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the
people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is
tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a
lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in
any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering.
Shoot." --Jon Stewart, hosting the Peabody Awards
"Inspiring developments -- Democracy is on the march in the Middle East.
Yesterday, hundreds of thousands of Palestinians hit the polls for the first
time of parliamentary elections in ten years. Which democratically elected
party walked away victorious? Oh, it's Hamas! Yes, Hamas the militant Islamic
group that is very anti-American and calls for the destruction of Israel, and
wants a theocracy in Palestine. Though, on the plus side, they have returned
all the money given to them by Jack Abramoff." --Jon Stewart
If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this
is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as, they
are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to
consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop,
you go, "that's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?" But what I wish the
media would do more frequently is say "bad monkey."
It upset me that, five days after the hurricane hit down in New Orleans, the
President's plan was for a day of prayer. I would have thought a truck of
food. A day of prayer. Now, maybe I'm mistaken here and, again, I'm not a
scientific expert, but isn't a hurricane officially an act of God? Isn't a
day of prayer kind of redundant? Hasn't God already made up his mind on that
sort of thing? So we do a day of prayer. The President has his stupid day of
prayer. Three days later, Hurricane Rita hits. Somebody must have said
something... something like, "is that all you got?"
Here's how bizarre the war is that we're in in Iraq, and we should have known
this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn't want
to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.
You can always tell when Bush is in trouble. He always brings out 9/11. 9/11
is the cudgel that he waves. As far as he's concerned, it's "Open Sesame".
9/11 is his way of saying, "Okay, I'm f**king up now, but remember four years
ago? That was cool." I think he thinks he can use it for anything. "9/11. On
9/11 we were attacked. And so, I should get to bang your wife." What? "Now,
there are some nay-sayers out there who think I shouldn't bang your wife,
well, that's the cut-and-run crowd."
A free and independent press is essential to the health of a functioning
democracy. It serves to inform the voting public on matters relevant to its
well-being. Why they've stopped doing that is a mystery. I mean, 300 camera
crews outside a courthouse to see what Kobe Bryant is wearing when the judge
sets his hearing date, while false information used to send our country to
war goes unchecked? What the f**k happened?
Yesterday the White House unveiled a plan to deal with terrorist attacks on
Election Day. It's part of a program where the President, under certain
circumstances, could declare himself Caesar.
His shows do show you the absurdities of the government, and he also
critisizes the mainstream media for not doing their jobs. Can you imagine
someone telling CNN that they weren't doing a good job? I mean CNN is like
the media we will never have, and they still aren't satisfied!!
He appeared on a Crossfire, a show broadcasted on CNN, and told the hosts
that they were "hurting America". After a couple of weeks, CNN removed the
show.
Here's the transcript
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bljonstewartcrossfire.htm
the video
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=889968848656043401&q=jon+stewart
--
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup,
France is accusing the United States of arrogance and Germany doesn't
want to go to war.
--
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