Re: [寫作班] Computer- Carol
※ 引述《paralupi (Champs-Elysees)》之銘言：
: ※ 引述《carol0228 (想放假ﳿ艢 )》之銘言：
: : I've been a secretary fot more forty years. my company is quite a big
: [I've been work as a secretary more forty years. As a big company in the field,
^^^^^^^^^^ I've been "working" as...
: the company work is always busy.]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ the workload of the company is overwhelming.
busy 當「忙碌」的意思通常比較會用來修飾「人」。
: : and busy one. In the beginning, I was quite busy, and seldom took a brake,
: [In the beginning I was very busy and had little time for rest
: due to daily heavy loaded work.]
1. little time for "a" rest. rest 是可數名詞。
2. 句末建議改為heavy workload daily. 這裡的daily當副詞用。
因為daily、heavy、loaded一串形容詞掛在work前面，
看起來有點怪。
: : because I have too many thing to do in a day. However, with the rapid
: "quite" a big company \ try using different
: "quite" busy / words as possible!
同意，用字最好多一點變化。例如說fairly，pretty，considerably
: : development of technology, everything becomes easier and easier. Thanks to
: [Everything became a lot easier as science's rapid development and I neither
^^^^^^我會用much ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
我會用with rapid developments in science.
: have to call clients nor remember everything by heart with helpful tool like
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
這裡要有冠詞。
: computer.]
: : the computers, i don't have to call lots of clients and remember my boss's
: : schedule by heart. Moreover, I don't have to work overtime, and make less
: [Not only I work in more efficient way with less mistakes
: but also avoid unnecessary overtime working.]
: : mistakes. I firmly believe that the computer is the greatest invention
: [Therefore computer is my most favorite as the greatest invention
^^^^^ therefore是副詞，這裡要加逗點。
後面又用as有點怪，建議用and就好。
: on earth.]
: : within a day.
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