Re: [寫作班] 托福第15週 hsnudrum, 2

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者fleuve (:D)時間16年前 (2008/07/02 03:48)推噓2(2推 0噓 4→)

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※ 引述《hsnudrum (寶寶加油喔!:))》之銘言： : ※z《dvlin (Dee)》之銘言： : : 2. Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long hours that would : : give you little time with family and friends or a lower-paying job with : : shorter hours that would give you more time with family and friends? : : Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details. : There are some people prefer to a high-paying job with long hours, but others xxxxxxxxx Some xx while : prefer to a lower-paying job with shorter hours. The way I see it, I would xx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If I were to make a choice, : choose the later one. In the following discussion, I would reason and provide latter xxxxxxxxxx : evidence to support my viewpoint. But the last sentence is still strange. Readers would know the evidence presented when they keep on reading the essay. : First, I think the most important thing is to spend time accompanying my : family and friends. The family-time is invaluable, which cannot be bought by ------------------------- : money. After a hard-working day, the only thing I want to do is to accompany -----redundant. The word "invaluable" already indicates "cannot be bought by money." : my family, and chat with my friends, only in this time can I completely relax x ; : and refill my energy for the work tomorrow. coming : In addition, if I chose high-paying job with long hours, I would spend no have : time studying English, which I suppose the most important thing I should do is supposed to be the most... : after work. So if I had no time to study, I would probably loose my lose : competitiveness in the society. I think there are no better reasons that can : demonstrate this point. If you can see it, you will understand it more deeply. : To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, which sometimes forms and -----what does it refer to? : organic whole and thus become more persuasive, I can safely reach the -------------? ---------------------------? : conclusion that I prefer to lower-paying job with shorter hours. xx ^a * The two arguments presented here are not very strong. There are, of course, some descriptions about your points, but those are generally common sense and not well-supported with enough evidence or more convincing examples. And still, the essay should be longer. ^^" For your reference. ^^; fleuve -- 然後有一天我ꄠ 靠在窗前，會發現原來我是株 ╭╮──╪──╭╮ 不＊ fleuve ＊需要陽光的植物︴1mK︴30m直到有一天我閉上眼睛 ╰╯──╪──╰╯ 看不見自己、卻可以看見你…ꄠ ♂ -- ※ 編輯: fleuve 來自: 118.168.40.70 (07/02 04:12)