Re: [寫作班] 托福第37週 winse 4

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者 (the essence of love)時間15年前 (2009/06/25 10:42), 編輯推噓1(100)
留言1則, 1人參與, 最新討論串2/2 (看更多)
※ 引述《winse (winse)》之銘言: : This is my first try in this board. I will try more to improve my writing. : 4. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural : condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and : industry? : Taiwan is a small island with huge population. : A well-organized urban planning is necessary for country development in Taiwan. : In my opinion, whether a land should be left in its natural condition ^no matter : or to be developed, we should take into consideration of : environmental protection. Your argument is made clear in the 1st paragraph. However, isn't environmental protection leaving land in its natural condition? So, you might want to make it more explicitly. From what you have written, I guess that you want to say land is to be developed, with the consideration of environmental protection? : For economic and democratic reason, city development for housing and industry ~~~~~~~~~~why democracy is a reason for city development? : is essential to a country. However, every design for land development should : take into consideration of the environmental protection. Such as a green : building, which use reproduced material and combined with power-saving ~~~~~~~~~~~~~delete, to make the structure parallel : design (e.g. solar energy). Recently, more and more architect works like : a horticulturist. They put a garden on the roof of a large building. : This design reduces the high air temperature in urban area and makes the lowers the temperature : air fresher. Furthermore, people will feel more comfortable when : they see a lot of green vegetation around. : In the perspective of environmental conversation, a land with its valuable conservation (you spelt wrong elsewhere) : natural resource needs to be conversed. For instance, National Parks and : conversation area are the examples to protect natural resources. : However, not only natural resource but biological culture including : human culture needs to be protected. Culture is impossible to be replaced. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ why do you want to say the human culture? how is it related to the topic? : A historical place should be conversed whether it located in urban or : mountainous area. : To sum up, a well-organized urban planning is necessary whether the land : to be conversed or developed. Basically, every urban planning should : be design from the point of view of Earth protection. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 118.168.240.240

06/25 17:34, , 1F
Thanks for your correction, can I post the rewrite?
06/25 17:34, 1F
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