Re: [寫作班]托福第四十週 (vinneko, 2)

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者fleuve (:D)時間16年前 (2009/08/11 02:26)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

留言1則, 1人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

※ 引述《Vinneko (OD)》之銘言： : 2. Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. : Why do you think people visit museums? : Once we travel to a new destination, we have no concepts of the (place) (concept) : background of the people living there. We might not understand their : history, their lifestyle, and their values. However, by visit the local visiting : museum, we could get a quick-learning lesson about all these informations. museums, we could quickly get almost all the information needed. : Why is museum? First of all, museum is a place stored almost all Why visiting museums? ^a ^which stores : of the historical heritages of this place. For example, we could see The heritage (n.u.─non-count noun) : Great Charter which is one of the most representative cultural heritage assets "one of the most XXXs" → since "heritage" is a non-count noun, it's weird if you plus an "s." It'd yet be stranger if you don't add anything, so I change the word to "assets"─a countable noun─to avoid possible confusion. : of England when we visit the British Museum. Knowing the history of : creating The Great Charter, we would have a general idea about the root the creation : of the legal system of British. : Another thing we can learn while visiting museum is their the life from ^the museums xxx : style. We could understand how they lived in the pass and how the life style : change to the way it is today by viewing items showed in the museum. has become the way... shown (museums) : For instance, we could understand the improvement of chinese tableware (^another) : when seeing the china from ancient to modern time in the Imperial Palace at ^displayed from the ancient to the modern time : Taipei. : Besides, we could also find out their values in the museum. The (In addition) : christian paintings in the Louvre show the values of western people, and ^the , whereas : the buddhistic status in the Imperial Palace at Taipei show the values : of eastern people. Though what we see may not represent the values of ^the : everyone, but we could have a general concept of the background of the every xxx (^still) individual : local people. : To sum up, visiting museum is a normal way to get a general idea of museums common way of getting : that place and especially the people live there. The works in the museum living museums : could show us lots of informations of this place without the limits of time a lot of information (n.u.) : and distance. This is a well-organized essay. You point out what you are going to say clearly in the first paragraph, and consistantly attach every paragraph to each other. Though there are some minor grammatical errors, they do not interfere with the flow of reading. One little suggestion: the transition between visiting the museums in England and in Taipei can be strengthened or made clear. Otherwise, it is a good essay which reads smoothly. FYI fleuve^^ -- 生命的意義不在追求答案，答案只是另一個答案的問題，生命在於去體會與經歷，不管生活在哪裡。 ╭╮───╪───╭╮ ＊ fleuve ＊ ╰╯───╪───╰╯ --