Re: [寫作班]第五禮拜題目-颱風........KFSFAT
※ 引述《kfsfat (kfsfat)》之銘言：
: 耶我搶頭香先寫完喔，版主要幫獎勵一下
: 有關於這個主題，其實我覺得有很多方向可以寫，像我就有想到兩個。
: 第一是寫關於颱風來時，應該準備哪些東西，例如食物，收音機..等等。
: 另外一個是想到颱風來時可能發生的災害以及後續影響。
: 不過我選擇第二個，寫的時候發現並不是像我想像的那麼容易，所以看起來可能會有點
: boring，
: 麻煩大家欣賞了
: The influences of the typhoons when they are coming
: Even though millions of dollars are spent each year on predicting
: typhoons, the disasters continue to make headline news. When the typhoon
: is approaching, even after it is away from here, the calamity is not
: as simple as what we thought.
對不起，我不太懂這邊not as simple as what we thought想要表達什麼?
: While the typhoon is coming, first, as a result of heavy rain, a lot of
When a typhoon comes... (generalization,現在簡單式)
: the buildings are toppled, the houses are buried because of the mudslides,
xxx xxx (可以用by) xxx
: as well as the major roads are blocked with rubbles in the countryside
^^^^^^^^^^ xxx by
and
: of the city.
xxxxxxxxxxx
概括所有颱風，用現在簡單式，好幾個the都不要加。
最後of the city刪掉，因為鄉下本來就是相對於城市，不需要說「城市的鄉下」。
"in the countrysides"可以移到roads和are的中間，以避免混淆，
因為被它修飾的名詞是roads，而不是rubbles。
: Second, crops, vegetables, everything about agricultures, the productions
: decrease very much. The price is going to become higher.
vegetables是crops的一種喔，不是兩項完全分開的東西；農業產品可稱作
agricultural products;
very much可以改用別的副詞例如drastically。
"Second, crops and all agricultural products decrease drastically, and the
prices become much higher."
: Finally, the governments need to spend much money on rescuing , repairing
government needs ^
trapped or missing people
: the roads, and so on. All the costs cause the economic condition
: to go worse.
^^^^^^^^^
to become worse. 正式寫作要盡量避免用to go代替to become
: (最後一句可以用未來式寫成這樣嗎? The economic condition is going to be worse.)
還是用現在簡單式比較好
: Although we are able to predict the typhoon while it is approaching,
to predict an approaching typhoon...
: its influence still strikes our country every time.
另一個這裡適用的字是"impact"
: All kind of the architectures and the traffic roads are destroyed,
: the productions of the agricultures are decay, the economy becomes worse.
^^^^^^^^ ^and
decay的過去分詞是decayed，但是這裡用decay這個字眼並不很適合。
Buildings and roads are destroyed, agricultural production decreases,
and the economy becomes worse.
: These are all bad influences when the typhoon is coming.
一篇文章最好能有更明確、更強力的結尾。
我可能會把最後一句改成
The typhoon always brings disastrous impacts to our country.
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