Re: [寫作班] corson - Book report

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者chileno (老頭子)時間17年前 (2008/02/05 14:36)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

留言1則, 1人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

※ 引述《corson (浪人劍客)》之銘言： : Book title: Forgiveness, Dalai Lama’s life wisdom 2 : This is a book about religion first, a related Tibet 1.其實應該先釐清：你在這裡用first的目的何在？想表達什麼？如果只是想說「首先」的話，那不加也可以。其實我覺得，除非你有明確的列點討論，不然以論文而言，這種虛詞不加反而好。 2."a related Tibet..."不順，我會寫成 a story related to a Tibetan Buddhist leader 或 a story about.... "Tibetan"是Tibet的形容詞用法。 : Buddhist leader story. I read the book because I would : like to know the idea about "virtuality." (or no-self, 空無) : Through the book, Dalai-lama would like to expound two 1.would like是比較委婉的用法，其實不妨直接用want，以學術論文來講，用"intended to"會更漂亮。 2.Dalai lama應該兩個字首都大寫：Dalai Lama 其實這一點應該沒有嚴格的規定，只是我google了一下，發現大家都是這樣用的。 : topics: virtuality and kindness. The "virtuality" is 這裡的"virtuality"可以不必加定冠詞了，因為你沒有好幾個"virtuality需要去做限定。 : not easy to understand, and its state is as following: 1."virtuality"本身沒有辦法"understand"，能understand的是「人」，所以應該用被動用法： Virtuality is not easy to be understood. 2.「如下」應該是as follows，用as following的話，感覺後面還要加東西才對，因為following是形容詞用法。 : Everything is dependent on other things, and the matter 這裡的"matter"是指什麼？用"the"限定了，感覺前面似乎曾經提過這個"matter"，但其實並沒有。這句其實可以這樣寫： Everything is dependent on other things, and nothing exists alone in the world. （不過我其實更想寫成： Everything is dependent on others; nothing is independent from others. ） : does not exist alone in the world. It is like a net, and : every node will reflect each other. The concept is similar 這裡不必用未來式，因為你說的是個「事實、真理、現狀」，用現在式即可。不要被中文的「每個點都『會』...」的「會」給騙了。 : with the butterfly effect. The "kindness"is still not easy similar "to". 這是片語的固定用法，介系詞沒法換。 : to say, but author hold many examples of Dalai-lama in the 1."not easy to say"跟前面的"not easy to understand"是一樣的問題。 2.記得冠詞：the author (of the book)。author有很多，需要限定。 3.hold?你是要說「舉出」嗎？我會用give，還有，注意時態問題。就算是hold也應該改成held或holds。 : book. It can be also found that the kindness of Dalai-lama 這裡用了that，我就期待後面接個子句，但卻只出現了名詞片語。這句這樣寫會比較好： The kindness of Dalai Lama can be found everywhere in the book. : everywhere of book. For example, author asked Dalai-lama 一樣，"the" author。 : that "Do not you hate the Chinese who kill your Tibet people Tibet people可用Tibetan : and ruined your temple." Dalai-lama replied that "Not at all, 1.引號裡是問句，標點應該用問號結尾。 2.後面的引述句比較常這樣寫： Dalai Lama replied, "Not at all..." : probably the behavior was made by someone. But if he rid of 1."Not at all"跟後面一句其實沒有關係，用句點結束比較好。 2.probably擺這個位置的話，後面加個逗點比較好，不然應該寫成這樣： the behavior was probably made by someone. 3.rid of 是指？我比較常看到get rid of，還有，注意時態。 : the behavior, I don’t need to hate the person." : Author described that Dalai-lama laugh loud when Dalai-lama ^^^^^時態，該用過去式。 : saw the author's goatee at first contact. I thought Dalai-lama ︿加個their會清楚些。 : should has real temperament, and there is another event impressed 1.real temperament是指「真性情」嗎？可是我看到這個詞的第一個反應是：Is there "false" temperament? 你想表達的，應該比較接近genuine這個字吧？ 2.there is another event "that/which" impressed me. 這個關係代名詞不能省略。 : me. That was "64 Tien An Men Event" in China. Tibet and China 六四天安門事件，用英文維基查查看。英文是說June-Fourth Incident或Tienanmen Square Protest in 1989 你這樣寫，我會誤解成六十四個男人參加了什麼大活動 XD : government were preparing to build a communicated channel at 溝通管道：a channel for communication。或用「溝通平台」：a platform for communication。 : that time. But after the event, Dalai-lama wanted her diplomacy : official to address a harshest condemnation. He said: "I knew diplomacy official?你要說的是diplomatic agent 或是diplomatic personnel吧？ : we expected the communication. But if I didn’t do so, I will ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 這裡是「與過去事實相反的假設」，該寫： But if I hadn't done so, I wouldn't have had 或 ...I wouldn't have been qualified to... : not have the qualification to talk the freedom and the rights ^^^^^^^^ talk about freedom or human rights. 很基本的介系詞用法，要注意。 : of man." When I read this paragraph, I was touched deeply. 我會說"I was deeply touched"。 : From this book, I can know Dalai-lama more, and modified some 這裡的can應該不必加。 : negative and wrong impression at same time. The book state many 1. at "the" same time 2. the book stated 3. ideas about virtuality : "virtuality" idea. If you are interested in this, maybe you can : also read it. : I checked the article by Word, hope can give me some comments. ^^ with MS Word : Thank you. 有練習就有進步喔，加油～ -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 163.20.129.214 ※ 編輯: chileno 來自: 163.20.129.214 (02/05 14:39)