Re: [寫作班] 托福第14週 Xinlong 1

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者Xinlong (冰狩)時間16年前 (2008/06/24 00:18)推噓2(2推 0噓 4→)

留言6則, 2人參與討論串3/3 (看更多)

※ 引述《chileno (老頭子)》之銘言： : : I prefer a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings than destroy : 1.我會在prefer後面加that，than後面加to。 : 2.可以參考下面這個句型，會比較像英文： : In my opinion, it would be better if a city tries to.... : 用would表推測，try用現在式則是「假設」的用法。 : : them and replace them with modern buildings, Even the cost of keeping will : 1.Even前的標點錯誤。 : 2.cost of keeping: keeping是及物動詞，我會期待後面有個受詞， : 沒有受詞的時候就會讓讀者有落空的感覺。 : 其實你要表達的應該是這個字吧：maintenance cost。 : : be more expensive then to destroy and replace them. I think keep the historic : 1.then拼錯了。應該是than。 : 2.I think這句應該是這樣寫：I think that keeping... : keep的詞性要改成名詞，才能當主詞，接後面的will， : 所以要改成keeping。 : : buildings will give us or ours children more benefit then destroy and replace : : them with modern buildings. : 1.benefit後面的then又拼錯了。 : 2.than是連接詞，前後的的詞性必須對等，所以如果前面的keep改為keeping， : 後面的動詞就得改成destroying and replacing。 In my opinion, it would be better if a city tries to preserve its old, historic buildings than to destroy them and replace them with modern buildings, even the cost of keeping buildings will be more expensive than that destroying and replacing ones. I think that keep the historic buildings will give us or ours children more benefit than destroy and replace them with modern buildings. : : The historic buildings are indicator of city, keep original face of city : 1....are indicators of a city that keep the original... : 冠詞跟關係代名詞的用法要加強喔。 : 2.the original face of the city... : 因為這個city必然是前面提過的a city，所以這裡要改用定冠詞。 : : and blend with another old buildings. Those buildings are taught us or ours : 1.這裡用other即可，不必用到another。 : 2.Those buildings teach us... : 這裡用現在式表事實，不必用被動式。 : : children its history, let us or ours children learned and understand what its : 1.its是指city還是buildings？如果是city，那離前面的city太遠， : 最好不要用代名詞；如果是buildings，那要用their而非its。 : 2.這裡用let其實不好，不如用make。但不管是let或make， : 後面都不應該出現learned，而且前面要加and。 : 3.its buildings？ : (1)應該用these buildings比較好。 : (2)buildings不會happen，英文會說： : what happened to these buildings : : buildings happened. The historic buildings are indicators of city, keep the original face of the city and blend with other old buildings. Those buildings are teach us or ours children their history, and make us or ours children understand what happened to thoese buildings. : : If destroy them and replace them with modern buildings, the towering : : buildings are too sharp to congruous with the other. If two building as close : 這句要整個改了。 : If we destroyed them and replaced them with modern buildings, : these towering buildings would be too sharp to be congruous : with others. : 1.我用的是與現在事實相反的假設，假設我們還沒毀掉這些歷史建築， : 所以動詞時態改為過去式。當然，單純假設的話，用現在式也是對的。 : 2.If引導的子句沒有主詞，所以我加了we。 : 3.congruous是形容詞，不是動詞，不能直接加在to後面。 : 4.the other表示只有另一棟建築，語意不對，所以改成others， : 而且去掉限定的the。 : : as each other, one of those is a historic building, another is a modren : 1.這裡沒有必要用as close as each other。 : 這樣講會變成「跟彼此一樣接近」，意思不對了。 I want elucidate that are two buildings stand here closely. : 2.你已經限定只有兩棟，前面是one，後面就應該是the other， : 而非another。 : : building, I don't think historic building is better then modren building, : 1.假設的語氣，還是用would be代替is比較好。 : 2.打錯的字就不再提了。這行打錯兩個字。 : 3.兩個building都是單數名詞，卻都沒加冠詞。 : : because both building have characteristic by themselves. So, we can't abandon : both buildings have characteristics of their own. : : one of them. : either of them才對。 If we destroy them and replace them with modern buildings, these towering buildings would be too sharp to be congruous with others. If two building were standed here as close as each other, one of those is a historic building, the other is a modern building, I don't think the historic building would be better than the modern building, because both buildings have characteristics by their own. So, we can't abandon either of them. : : Maybe living in a modren building will be more comfortable then a old : : building, but the historic building is necessary in a city. If we can keep it, : : we should do it. Not only can we learn history about it like virtu, but also : : historic buildings is human cultural heritage. : 錯誤前面都說明過，所以這段我就直接打了。 : Maybe living in a modern building would be more comfortable : than living in an old building. However, historic buildings are : necessary to a city. If we can keep them, then we should do it. : Hitoric buildings are cultural heritages of mankind, and we : can learn history from them, as if they are antiquities. : 最後一句原文的意思不是很清楚，我可能有些誤會你的想法， : 可以再修正。 : 最後總結提醒： : 1.請注意冠詞的用法。 : 2.請注意名詞跟動詞「數的一致」。 : 3.假設語氣的用法要加油。 : 4.one, the other; one, other, another的用法最好再研究確定一下。 : 請參考。加油囉。 Maybe living in a modern building would be more comfortable than living in an old building.However, historic buildings are necessary to a city. If we can keep them, then we should do it. Hitoric buildings are cultural heritages of mankind, and we can learn history from them, as if they are antiquities. Thank you very much! I will get more study. -- Have a nice day. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.217.246.66