Re: [請益] 英文自傳請益~

看板Salary (工作職場)作者sworddragon (囧榮)時間13年前 (2012/04/17 11:18)推噓0(0推 0噓 1→)

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以下為個人意見，當然有可能自己見識不廣歡迎討論 : I am Mei. 這裡建議把自己英文名字全名打出來，畢竟名字叫做Mei的有成千上萬個把全名打出來，看你自傳的人也才比較記得這篇是誰的自傳 : After graduating from Aletheia University, I applied for a : master of economics in Ming Chuan University. My thesis examined the : relationship between a firm size and R&D performance by utilizing : Metafrontier model; and further, I adopted the Network DEA to provide : managerial insight for enhancing performance. 這個部分建議直接把"敘述"的過程改成"結果" 你這邊提到你大學畢業以後跑去念研究所而你的碩士論文題目是用Metafrontier model和DEA法來驗證公司規模和R&D績效的關係以提供增進績效的管理意涵 Well, so what? 這邊對於看你自傳的人，心中就會出現一個疑問：這和你申請我這個工作有什麼關係? 你應該在這段求學經歷的部分，強調你和別的學生不一樣的地方例如你參加了什麼商業競賽、擔任過什麼義工還是大使或著是把你在寫論文過程中的"專業"展現出來 (eg. 資料蒐集、舉辦研討會行政、與大人物接洽等) 並且強調你最後產出的結果 (eg. 我這篇碩論最後被某某研討會接受並發表) 這樣比較會吸引人，不然你仔細再想一想你寫這一段的最後是不是看不到「所以呢」這三個字? 以我個人來講，當初我寫碩論的時候剛好也接一個國科會計劃所以我就在我的自傳裡面加上我做國科會計畫的背景 (eg. 專業國科會計畫申辦：從計畫書提案+簡報+資料分析+專家座談+結案報告全包^.<) 最後我的碩論也成功在科管年會上面有個小小的空間做"海報發表" 這就是我和別人不一樣的地方... 你一定也會有你和別人不一樣的地方，記得凸顯出來 : In terms of certificate received, I have got 7 financial professional : credentials and scored 680 in the TOEIC exam since I studied in the : university. Therefore, improving my foreign language competence will be : regarded as one of my primary goals. 這邊的邏輯怪怪的 In terms of certificate received→這句話你是想要說"關於我拿到的證照"是吧? 恩....力量不太夠或許可以改成：For my competence improving, I've been agressive for testing my financial expertise, so I get 7 financial professional credentials, which means that I've prepared for the real business world. 另外在improving my foreign language competence.. →你說改進你的語言能力是你其中一個的主要目標一樣的情況，這和你申請這個工作有什麼關係? 應該是說你的TOEIC有680分，因此可以勝任普通的英文對話或是文書工作要強調你過去成就所能夠帶來的「成果」，而不是敘述你過去的所作所為 (題外話，680分算是個尷尬的分數，建議你可以再挑戰到750分up) : When serving as an professor's assistant in graduate school, I learned a : sense of responsibility toward students, above all, those affairs of students : relative to their term grade are required more careful. Due to this : acquirement, I must ensure that client rights and interests will be my top : priority.Besides, since I often had to think about supervisor’s requests in : advance,the position allowed me to enhance not only aggressive attitude : but also problem solving ability. those affairs of students relative to their term grade are required more careful.→句子有誤， ↑(要加上which are) 或許你是要表達those affairs of students "are" relative to their term grade, so that I have to pay much more attention on it. (我需要更加注意這些事) 另外在I must ensure that...這段，不知道是不是我多想了我看的感覺是：不過是當個助教，有那麼嚴重到要注意顧客的權利和利益嗎= =? 你也提到除了「顧客權益」之外，你必須在老闆的要求下取得平衡可以換個方式講 When serving as a professor's assistant in graduate school, I had some real working experience in college. For instance, since the scores are the top concerns of my "clients"-students, so I must be as accurate as I can to ensure everything will be exactly right. Futhermore, I have to take my "boss" -the professor- into consideration, therefore I can serve both of students and professor. All of these make me be an aggressive person and have very strong problem solving ability. : 最後會再加上幾句結語 : 請版友幫忙修改 : 感謝! 大概是這樣，個人淺見加油!!! -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 220.130.140.61