Re: [請益] 英文自傳

看板Salary (工作職場)作者nastry (nastryers.s)時間13年前 (2012/05/15 23:32)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)

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※ 引述《hsinyu1989 (Tara)》之銘言： : 我是應屆畢業生 : 第一次寫求職英文自傳， : 我的英文寫作能力大學4年退步很多阿!(跪) : 我要投的公司是台灣公司，需要短篇的英文自傳 : 我有參考前輩們的文章，但還是有要改進的部分 : 希望板上的高手能幫我看看有哪裡需要改進的.. : 非常感謝!!!! m(_ _ )m : 應徵工作是財務方面的 : I am XXXX studies banking and finance, graduated from : Tamkang University this year. 拆成兩句 My name is XXXX. I graduated from XXXX with XXX degree. My specialty is XXXX. : {About my personality traits} : I’m easygoing, open-minded and optimistic but easily : move to tears. I have high ability to adapt to the : environment that can familiarize myself into work rapidly move to tears不是這樣用的= = 除了文法上應該為 I am move"d" to tear之外連意思也不通因為I am moved to tears意思為我被感動到哭正確用法為 He was moved to tears by sth. 或 sth. move sb. to tears I'm a easygoing, open-minded and optimistic person. Besides, I am easily touched with tears by even a mere trifle. Owing to my unique personalities, I can adapt myself to a new surrounding immediately which ..... 你很容易適應環境但這對你或對以後工作上有何好處? 請在which後面寫上我發現你的句子都是一句一句的請找出前因後果練習用which, that, what等連接起來 : {About my Work Experience} : My family didn’t cover all my expenses so I found a : part-time job after school. Over three years of work : experience in Tamkang University and I also have : an experience working as a customer service representative : in the Fubon Bank. Both jobs required me to speak to : customers via telephone. Opposing to the ordinaty stereotype : that the customer serivice is a boring job, I've actually : quite enjoyed in the position because it gave me an opportunity : to improve my telephone etiquette, my problem solving : capability, and my self-esteem.My direct supervisors say that : I’m very cautious, dependable and efficient because I : frequently find the error on the document. : 在學校工讀3年也有在銀行工作 : "Over 3 .......in the Fubon bank" : 這裡我一直覺得哪裡怪，但不知道要怎麼寫才會比較好.. My family didn't cover all of my expense during my college life(請寫上時間或是哪方面的開銷不然這句話是不完整的), so I have to find part-times jobs after school to support my living. 如果是我我會說"同時" 不知道這個詞符不符合你的意 I had been a part-time employee in XXXU for over 3 years, meanwhile, I had worked in Fubon Bank as a customer service representative. 下一句我不知道你想表達什麼就好像中文中突然出現一句兩個工作都需要用電話那...然後呢? 你想這樣沒人看的懂你應該改成 Since I had to deal with costomers over the telephone in both jobs, I........ 後面請接你學到什麼或有什麼心得 stereotype 字很漂亮但用的很爛可把他視為impression Unlike a boring stereotype of common customer service jobs, they(我這邊假設你是指這2件工作，因為由上下文判斷，感覺不出你有分別對各工作做詳述) are quite interesting and helpful. What really improved my telephone skill and problem solving ability at work. self-esteem我拿掉了因為這個字不是這樣用的= = 你在哪邊聽過有誰說I am efficient過?= = 還有say要改成said 再來，請記住，寫文章(不管是中文還是英文)都要連貫，不然整篇文章會變的斷斷續續的如同我之前講的，你的英文一句一句的，沒有連貫性。我在這裡看不出上一句話跟老闆稱讚你有什麼關係。你應該改為：工作能力的提升>>工作表現很好>>老闆稱讚等等 (懶的想了你自己去寫吧) Due to my satisfactory working performances, my boss admired me for my XXXX自行填入 : {About my extracurricular activities} : My volunteer involvement with Mackay Memorial Hospital's : Children volunteers club provided great opportunities for me : to get work experiences, to meet people, to learn new s : kills, and best of all, to help childern who are less : fortunate than I am. : 請問有人知道兒童志工的英文怎麼寫嗎??? : Given an opportunity to work in XXX公司, I would do my best to : prove my capability. : 請大家指教非常感謝!!!! The experience of being a volunteer in Mackay Memorial Hospital to help children XXX(日期/時間) really made me learn to communication with others and mostly learn to help those in need. I would appreciate that if you can give me a opportunity to work as a team in XXX. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 58.115.52.107 ※ 編輯: nastry 來自: 58.115.52.107 (05/15 23:47)