Re: [分享] 1/18 J2 TOEFL 獨立寫作擬答 [文法部分]

看板TOEFL_iBT (TOEFL_iBT托福)作者xiezl (xzl)時間11年前 (2014/01/19 22:26)推噓9(9推 0噓 31→)

留言40則, 8人參與討論串1/12 (看更多)

上一篇文章有點長，為了方便閱讀，所以將文法說明部分移到這篇文章來。 ------------------------------------------------------------ Rosa 老師的第二段原文 First of all, art displays the characteristic of a society. Therefore, the government should support artists. For example, a Taiwanese painter, Huang Yon-Tsan, is good at drawing paintings of the nature. That is to say, through his art, people get a glimpse of the beautiful scenery and the creatures in Taiwan. Furthermore, Picasso depicts a society which places emphasis on leisure and on sitting around drinking tea with beautiful women. Through his art, people can imagine what life was like at that period in France. ------------------------------------------------------------ 【第一句】 First of all, art displays the characteristic of a society. 1. characteristic 是可數名詞，所以應該加 s。 ------------------------------------------------------------ 【第二句】 Therefore, the government should support artists. 1. government 目前並非某特定政府，所以應該用不定冠詞 a 而非 the. 2. artists 在此並非指普天之下所有的藝術家，而是指某國家自己的藝術家，所以要加所有格 --> Therefore, a government should support its artists. ------------------------------------------------------------ 【第三句】 For example, a Taiwanese painter, Huang Yon-Tsan, is good at drawing paintings of the nature. 1. 關於 Huang Yon-Tsan（這是誰？我 Google 不到）應該改成 Huang Yon-Tsan, a Taiwanese painter, ... 或 The Taiwanese painter Huang Yon-Tsan (注意，沒有逗點) 至於原文的寫法，是不對的。犯了文法上關係子句或限定修飾語的錯誤。 2. nature 前面不加 the 下面這四行說明來自 Longman Dictionary of Common Errors Nature (= the natural world of birds, trees, rivers, etc) is never used with the : 'We must stop destroying nature before it is too late.' --> For example, the Taiwanese painter Huang Yon-Tsan is good at drawing paintings of nature. ------------------------------------------------------------ 【第四句】 That is to say, through his art, people get a glimpse of the beautiful scenery and the creatures in Taiwan. 1. 這開頭的 that is to say 「也就是說」，在邏輯上不通。因為這兩句話並不是同一個意思換一個句子再說一遍，所以這轉折語應該換一個。比方說用 therefore 就比較合邏輯。 ------------------------------------------------------------ 【第五句】 Furthermore, Picasso depicts a society which places emphasis on leisure and on sitting around drinking tea with beautiful women. 1. Picasso 已經作古，所以不會 depicts，而應該是 depicted 2. places 應該是 placed 3. sitting around drinking tea 中 sit 與 drink 的意義上主詞是誰？不可能是 society，看起來也不像是 Picasso 4. 最後，這整句話看起來應該是漏了一些字，目前文字所表達的意思真的很不容易想像。 ------------------------------------------------------------ 【第六句】 Through his art, people can imagine what life was like at that period in France. 1. that period 中 that 是指示形容詞，也就是前文應該出現過 period 或與其相當的內容，後面才能用 that 去指，否則就會像現在這樣，讓讀者不知這指的是那個「時代」。 ------------------------------------------------------------ 最後，這段文章還有一個我想不通的問題：後面兩位畫家的例子，為何能夠推導出「政府應該資助（支持）藝術家」的論點，尤其是畢卡索的那部分？以上，關於文法以及用字的部分說明，大家參考看看。並再次對 Rosa 老師表達歉意。謝忠理 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 1.34.142.169

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