Re: [寫作班] corson - Biography

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者chileno (月月)時間17年前 (2008/01/15 22:31)推噓5(5推 0噓 3→)

留言8則, 6人參與討論串5/5 (看更多)

英文的句子長，中文的句子短。想把英文的句子寫好，就得把中文的習慣改過來，不能寫好幾個短句，而是要把幾個短句合併起來。另外，用的字也不能從中文的意義去思考，最好還是回到英文原來的定義。 ※ 引述《mingtai1 (snake)》之銘言： : ※ 引述《corson (浪人劍客)》之銘言： : : Let me introduce the biography about Newton (1643-1727), the grandest : : scientist in the 17 century. 我會說： I would like to introduce the life of Isaac Newton, the greatest scientist of the 17th century. 1."Let me"改成"I would like to"其實沒什麼原因，純粹是我自己覺得順，不改應該也無妨。 2.biography的定義是「他人寫的傳記」，如果用這個字，我會覺得你在介紹一本書。所以直接用life就好。 3.grand這個字，根據Collins COBUILD字典的定義，用在人的身上有貶意，是指那個人自以為重要。這樣的意義，你在中文字典裡可能查不出來，可是外國人看到這個字就彆扭了。 4.以學術論文來講，第一次提到的人名最好連名帶姓，後面才會只稱呼姓。縮寫的規則亦同。第一次寫到ROC，最好把全名Republic of China 整個寫出來。 : : Newton was born in a remote village, and his family was not very rich. : : This point also affected his college life. He had to be a assistant of : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^這也有點中式英文 ^^an : 可以寫Therefore, Hence連接前因後果就行了. 其實整段都是中文短句，要寫得像英文，得再重新排列一下。例如： Born in a disadvantageous family in a remote village, Newton's college life was affected by his background, and he was therefore forced to take the job as an assistant of a professor, in which he learned very much. 1.用disadvantageous是因為我一下想不到更恰當的字，因為我不知道not very rich是窮到什麼程度。 2.這樣寫把你三四句的東西變成一句，其實表達的東西都一樣，只是改動了句型的架構，但相信效果應該不太一樣。 : : professor, and learn many things. Newton was not very special in his : ^^^^^^^^^ ^^ed : 這裡你要指明限定某些教授his/the professor(s)或是不限定(professors) : : boyhood days, but he was interested in unknown. : boyhood就可以指童年 unknowns 這一句我會寫成： He was not very special in his boyhood, but he was interested in the unknown. 1.Newton前面已經提過，後面就可以用代名詞，不必反覆提整個字了。 2.其實用字變換一下，效果可以更強。例如special改unusual、outstanding、extraordinary interested in 改成fascinated by 3.這裡有個敘述順序的問題。你第一句就提到他的大學生活，可是第二句又回到他的童年，下面又談到大學生活，順序是否應該調整一下比較好？ : : Newton entered Cambridge Unverisity, and met a good teacher who affectd 有些東西直接用代名詞跟介系詞表達，會簡潔一點。這句可以直接寫： In Cambridge University, he met a good teacher who greatly influenced him in the field of science and philosophy. 1. greatly加進去，應該更能強調你要表達的意思。 2. affect前面用過了，換個字，增加點變化。 : : Newton in science and philosophy. Newton had studied the light structure He studied the structure of lights with a prism after his graduation. 1.這裡沒有必要用過去完成式。過去簡單式即可。 2.「用……工具」是用with這個介系詞而非by。 3.寫"after graduating"的話，我會期待你後面再寫個"from..."。這裡直接用名詞即可，不必用動名詞。 : : by prism after graduating. He was back to his country because of the ^^^ 用went會比較好。 : : plague. He thought the calculus, gravity and optic in this period. 這裡的thought是思考嗎？還是發明、想出？發明的話是invented，發現的話是discovered，用字要精確些。 He invented calculus, and discovered the law of gravity and optics in this period. the law of gravity: 萬有引力定律 optics:光學 : : Newton wrote some books, and the famous one, Principle, described the 這句我會這樣寫： He wrote some books, and in the most famous one, "Principle", he described the laws of motion. 1.書名記得要有標點的變化。有些學術論文格式會要求你用斜體來標書名。 2.laws of motion:運動定律有三條吧？ : : law of motion. This achievement affects the later several hundred-year : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ : This books had affected the development of science for the following several : hundred years 其實這兩句可以直接合併起來。 He wrote some books, and in the most famous one, "Principle", he described the laws of motion, an achievement that affected the development of science for hundreds of years. BTW，這裡也沒有必要用過去完成式。 : : science. Netwon was also a inventor, and he inventor reflective telescope : ^^an invented : : by his understanding of optic. : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 這句感覺有點多餘. 其實是可以寫的，只是這樣可能更好： He was also the inventor of the reflective telescope, which is a production of his understanding in optics. optic"s"的s還是要加，少了這個，詞性就不一樣了。 : : In my option, Newton's law of motion represents a predictable world concept. : : That indeed conflicts with the later quantum mechanics. Overall, Netwon In my opinion, his laws of motion represent a predictable world model, which indeed conflicts with quantum mechanics in later days. opinion拼成option了。option是「選項」的意思。 : : owned multiple identity, scientist, mathematician, and philosopher. : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ : 中式英文. Identity是身份;而且和此要表達的意義不合.你可以考慮用Multidimensional He is multi-faceted. He is a scientist, a mathematician, and a philosopher at the same time. : : No doubt he was all excellent in these fields. His achievement is much : excellent in all these fields. : : more than I can describe. : : I found some information about Newton in internet, and revise it. : on d ^^^^^^^^^^^^ on the Internet. : : Please give me some comments for this. Thank you. 請參考，加油囉。 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 125.224.63.143