[英中] 翻譯練習討鞭--Look Up
大家好，我最近看了一部影片叫做"Look Up"
看完除了自己想了很多之外，也決定把原文拿來練習英翻中
雖然已經有網友將它翻成中文，我還是想練習一下:P
也看看各位有沒有什麼不一樣的譯法或是對原文的解讀
http://goo.gl/iwukbC (原影片)
http://goo.gl/8IKHmE (Lowy Chang中文字幕版)
以下為原文，我自己覺得不太確定的譯法會用顏色標示
請大家多多指教，謝謝
-------------------------------------------------------
I have 422 friends yet I am lonely.
我有422位朋友，但我仍然覺得孤單
I speak to all of them everyday yet none of them really know me.
我每天都和這些朋友聊天，但他們沒有一個真正了解我
The problem I have sits in the space in-between,
問題就出在我們之間的距離
Looking into their eyes or at a name on a screen.
看著螢幕裡他們的名字或是視訊中他們的眼睛
I took a step back and opened my eyes,
我退了一步，張開雙眼
I looked round and realized
望了望四周，我才發現
This media we call social is anything but
我們稱之為社群的媒體其實剝奪了我們的社交能力
when we open our computers and it’s our doors we shut.
當我們打開電腦，我們同時也關上了一扇門
All this technology we have it’s just an illusion,
這些科技產品給我們的只有錯覺
Community, companionship, a sense of inclusion
群體、友誼、歸屬感
When you step away from this device of delusion,
當你將眼光移開這些充滿錯覺的電子產品時
You awaken to see a world of confusion.
你會發現自己身處在一個令人困惑的世界
A world where we’re slaves to the technology we mastered,
在這樣的世界裡，我們精於使用電子產品，同時也成了它的奴隸
Where information gets sold by some rich, greedy bastard.
既富有又貪婪的混帳將資訊當成商品販售
A world of self-interest, self-image, self-promotion,
這個世界的人只懂得利己，只在意自我形象和自我推銷
Where we all share our best bits but leave out the emotion.
我們展現出最棒的一面，卻不表達真正的情感
We’re at our most happy with an experience we share,
人生中最快樂之事莫過於與他人分享自身經歷
But is it the same if no one is there.
如果沒有可以分享的對象，我們會一樣快樂嗎？
Be there for your friends and they’ll be there too,
真心對待你的朋友，他們就會在你需要時出現 (覺得be there不好翻XD)
But no one will be if a group message will do.
如果我們只透過聊天室聯繫感情，就不會有這樣的情誼
We edit and exaggerate, crave adulation,
我們一再編輯動態內容，甚至不惜誇大，只待他人逢迎諂媚
We pretend not to notice the social isolation.
我們對於這種社交隔離視而不見
We put our words into order till our lives are glistening,
我們在網路上把自己的生活形容得多采多姿
We don’t even know if anyone is listening.
卻不知道是不是真的有人在意
Being alone isn’t the problem let me just emphasise,
我得在此聲明，孤單一人並不是真正的問題
If you read a book, paint a picture, or do some exercise,
如果你獨自閱讀、作畫、運動
You’re being productive and present not reserved or reclused,
你是在充實自己、活在當下，並非離群索居
You’re being awake and attentive and putting your time to good use.
你很清楚自己在做什麼，也懂得好好利用時間
So when you’re in public and you start to feel alone,
如果你身在人群中，卻開始感到孤單
Put your hands behind your head, step away from the phone.
將雙手放到腦後，遠離你的手機
You don’t need to stare at your menu or at your contact list,
別直盯著螢幕中的選單或是通訊錄看
Just talk to one another, learn to co-exist.
抬起頭來和別人說說話，學著和他人共處
I can’t stand to hear the silence of a busy commuter train,
我無法忍受載滿人的車廂中卻異常寧靜
When no one wants to talk for the fear of looking insane.
沒人想開口聊天，就怕被別人認定是瘋子
We’re becoming unsocial, it no longer satisfies
我們變得不善交際，我們不再重視
To engage with one another and look into someone’s eyes.
人際關係、眼神交流
We’re surrounded by children who since they were born,
我們的孩子打從出生便目睹
Have watched us living like robots and think it’s the nor.m
我們過著機械式的生活，還以為這樣很正常
It’s not very likely you’ll make world’s greatest Dad,
你不太可能成為世界上最棒的老爸
If you can’t entertain a child without using an iPad.
如果你得拿著一台iPad才知道怎麼逗孩子笑
When I was a child I’d never be home,
當我還小的時候，我可不會整天待在家
I’d be out with my friends, on our bikes we’d roam.
我總在外面和我的朋友一童玩耍，或是騎腳踏車到處玩
I’d wear holes in my trainers and graze up my knees;
玩到鞋子破洞、膝蓋擦傷
Or build our own clubhouse high up in the trees.
還蓋了我們專屬的樹屋
Now the park is so quiet it gives me a chill
現在的公園是如此冷清，令我直發寒
See no children outside and the swings hanging still.
孩子們不再出門玩耍，鞦韆總是孤伶伶地懸在那兒
There’s no skipping, no hopscotch, no church and no steeple,
小時候跳繩、跳格子、用雙手扮成動物的情景已不復見 (好像是國外的一種遊戲)
We’re a generation of idiots, smart phones and dumb people.
這是一個充滿呆子、智慧型手機和笨蛋的世代
So look up from your phone, shut down the display,
為此，抬起頭來，把手機關了
Take in your surroundings, make the most of today.
關心你周遭的事物，好好充實你的一天
Just one real connection is all it can take,
僅僅與一人交流便已足夠
To show you the difference that being there can make.
你便會發現真實的交流將帶給你多大的改變
Be there in the moment as she gives you the look,
在那當下，你看到她的眼神
That you remember forever as when love overtook.
你想起令你永生難忘的，愛情降臨的時刻
(以下的句子很多"The time when" 如果句首都有一個"當"
看文章會很怪，因為後面又講別的時刻，但我發現影片如
果這樣做的話還好，因為跟著畫面一起跑，所以不太確定
哪一種做法比較好)
The time she first held your hand or first kissed your lips,
她第一次牽你的手、第一次吻你的唇
The time you first disagreed but still loved her to bits.
你們第一次起爭執，但你仍然愛她的一切
The time you don’t have to tell hundreds of what you’ve just done,
你不會向朋友你做了什麼些事
Because you want to share this moment with just this one.
因為你只想和她分享
The time you sell your computer so you can buy a ring,
當你把電腦賣了，又把錢拿去買了一只戒指
For the girl of your dreams who is now the real thing.
只為好好將你的真命天女套牢
The time you want to start a family and the moment when,
你渴望建立家庭
You first hold your little girl and get to fall in love again.
你第一次抱著你的女兒，再次墜入愛河
The time she keeps you up at nights and all you want is rest,
當她在大半夜哭鬧，你卻只想睡覺
And the time you wipe away the tears as your baby flees the nest.
當寶貝女兒離家闖蕩，你默默地拭淚，目送她離開
The time your baby girl returns with a boy for you to hold,
當女兒回家，還抱著你的小孫子
And the time he calls you Grandad and makes you feel real old.
當你的孫子開口叫你祖父，你發現你真的老了
The time you take in all you’ve made when you’re giving life attention,
當你發現一生的成就，皆因你認真、充實地體驗人生 (「成就」會不會太重? )
And how you’re real glad you didn’t waste it by looking down at some
invention.
你多麼慶幸自己沒有浪費時間低頭緊盯著那些科技產品
The time you hold your wife’s hand, sit down beside her bed
當你握著老伴的手，在床邊陪著她
You tell her that you love her, lay a kiss upon her head.
你向她傾訴你的愛意，吻了她的額頭
She then whispers to you quietly as her heart gives a final beat,
在她心跳停止之前，她輕聲對你說
That she’s lucky she got stopped by that lost boy in the street.
她很幸運，因為當年那個迷路的小夥子把她叫住，向她問路
But none of these times ever happened. You never had any of this,
但這些時刻將不會發生，你無法擁有
When you’re too busy looking down, you don’t see the chances you miss.
如果你總是忙著低頭，連機會溜走了都渾然不知
So look up from your phones, shut down those displays,
所以，抬起頭，把手機關了
We have a finite existence, a set number of days.
我們的生命有限，短短數十年
Don’t waste your life getting caught in the net,
別浪費生命，沉溺於虛擬網路世界
because when the end comes, nothing’s worse than regret.
因為一旦來到生命的盡頭，沒有什麼比懊悔還糟
I am guilty too of being part of this machine,
我其實也身處在這樣的環境裡 (還是他是指他也做了這部影片放到網路上，所以是幫凶？)
this digital world we are heard but not seen.
在這數位世界中，我們能發聲，卻難以被看見
where we type as we talk and read as we chat,
我們邊說話邊打字、邊讀訊息邊聊天
where we spend hours together without making eye-contact.
我們待在彼此身邊好幾個小時，卻不曾有眼神交流
So don’t give in to a life where you follow the hype,
別盲目追求這種交流方式
Give people your love, don’t give them your “like.”
讓大家感覺到你的愛，而不僅僅是按「讚」
Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined
別再在意是否有人看你的動態、他們怎麼想
Go out into the world, leave distractions behind.
步出家門，遠離這些令人分心的電子產品
Look up from your phone, shut down the display,
抬起頭來，關掉手機
Stop watching this video, live life the real way.
別再看這部影片了，體驗真正的生活吧
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 101.12.228.200
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Translation/M.1423049810.A.64B.html
※ 編輯: ellymi (101.12.228.200), 02/04/2015 19:40:32
→
02/04 21:34, , 1F
02/04 21:34, 1F
→
02/05 00:09, , 2F
02/05 00:09, 2F
→
02/05 00:10, , 3F
02/05 00:10, 3F
→
02/05 00:19, , 4F
02/05 00:19, 4F
→
02/05 00:23, , 5F
02/05 00:23, 5F
C大您好，我原本只有句尾沒加上標點符號(因為是google搜到的原文)
經您提醒後去找了原作者的部落格，將每句句尾的標點符號補上了
但是因為是詩的關係斷句還是不能改，所以就是長現在這樣
希望有助您閱讀，謝謝提醒
※ 編輯: ellymi (49.215.241.90), 02/05/2015 09:57:38
→
02/05 13:22, , 6F
02/05 13:22, 6F
Translation 近期熱門文章
PTT職涯區 即時熱門文章
