Re: [寫作班] 第一周 Toilet paper, HIbaby

看板ST-English (英文科技寫作)作者chileno (月月)時間17年前 (2007/10/22 22:08)推噓4(4推 0噓 0→)

留言4則, 4人參與討論串2/7 (看更多)

※ 引述《HIbaby (嗨北鼻)》之銘言： (恕刪) : 文章 : -------------------------------------------------------------------- : Several materials - such as leaf, cloth or kraft paper- : provide for cleaning in bathroom. 1. leaf建議改為leaves，或the leaf 2. cleaning可以加上personal 3. provide 可以不用加for。provide for的用法是provide a for b 為b提供a。 : Kraft paper have a benefit character, cheap, ^^^這裡建議加上"that is,"，用句點結尾。 : however, the skin touch and the water absorb ability is not so good. 1. 這裡建議另起一句。 2. skin touch是不是用sense of touch比較好？ 3. water absorb ability建議改成the abilitiy of water absorption 本來想用absorbability，可是查了一下，這個字似乎指的是「可吸附性」，看看有沒有專業人士來回答好了^^ : The length of fibers in paper materials determined comfortable skin touch. 這是事實，所以可以用現在式determine。 : Here, we development a novel structure style of paper, named toilet paper, 1. development是名詞，應該用developed。 2. novel structure style of paper? 不太懂這個意思。 3. "named..."我會用 "named as 'toilet paper'."耶。好像也沒什麼理由，可是就覺得這樣比較順... : which were constructed by short type fibers. 1. 這裡也是事實，所以應該也可以用are constructed 2. short type fibers? 是不是可以直接講short fibers？ : We provide the toilet paper in schools and department stores : to estimate using feeling from user and analysis the water absorption. 1. to estimate?這是「估計」的意思。你是要說explore嗎？ 2. 前半句我會寫成to explore users' feeling after use 3. analysis是名詞，應該是analyze。 4. 不太瞭解為什麼這邊還要分析吸水力？ : From the questionary results, 你是要說questionnaire嗎？問卷？那應該說results of the questionnaires : 99% people feel very good compared to past experience. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 建議改為good, comparing to... past experience用"their past experiences"較好。 : Toilet paper can absorb water 10 times faster then kraft paper. : Toilet paper may provide a new choice for people in bathroom. 1. 比較級要用than不是then喔。 2. 兩句主詞都是toilet paper，後面那句就可以用it代替，也可以用關係代名詞結合，句型就會更漂亮： Toilet paper, which can absorb water 10 times faster than kraft paper, may provide a new choice for people in bathrooms. 請參考囉。 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 125.224.58.34 ※ 編輯: chileno 來自: 125.224.58.34 (10/22 22:09)