Re: [中英] 台大譯研所101考古-2
看板Translation (筆譯/翻譯)作者JinSha (http://0rz.tw/h1hXC)時間12年前 (2013/07/13 17:05)推噓2(2推 0噓 1→)留言3則, 1人參與討論串2/3 (看更多)
Hi oliviawind
※ 引述《oliviawind (順風)》之銘言:
: 原文:
: 能夠走路,是世上最美之事。何處皆能去得,何樣景致皆能明晰見得。當心中有些微煩悶
: ,腹中有少許不化,放步去走,十分鐘二十分鐘,便漸有些拋去。若再往下而走,愈走愈
: 到了另一境地,終至不惟心中煩悶已除,甚連美景亦一一奔來眼簾。若能自平地走到高山
: ,自年輕走到年老,自東方走到西方,則是何等樣的福分!其間看得的時代興亡人事代謝
: 可有多大的變化。
: 人能生得兩腿,不只為了從甲地趕往乙地,更是為了途中。
: (全文:http://www.douban.com/group/topic/1550101/)
: 我的譯文:
: Walking, the most wonderful thing in the world, enables you to reach every
: place and view every scene with clarity. Anxiety-beaten or stucked in the
網路搜尋了一下後,完全沒發現有把anxiety-beaten用來當形容詞的例子,感覺這個詞沒
人用過或應該不對,不妨把beaten換成laden。有不少詞是"xxx(某名詞)-laden",
例如a sugar-laden diet。
另外沒stucked這個詞,應改成stacked,以及「不化」沒有翻到。不化大概在指有些沒消
化的思緒,可翻成stacked with undigested thoughts in the stomach
所以可把Anxiety-beaten or stucked in the stomach, 改成
Anxiety-laden or stacked with undigested thoughts in the stomach,
: stomach, take a ten or twenty minute walk and you will feel relieved and
and後面加主詞時,前面通常會加逗號,改成
take a ten or twenty minute walk, and you will feel relieved佳
: soothed. Keeping walking forward to the extent that all the anxiety is swept
前面是"take a ten ..., and you will",為保持語氣一致,把"Keeping walking ...,
you will" 改成"Keep walking forward ...., and you will..."較佳
另外,"Keeping walking forward to the extent that all the anxiety is swept
away, you will discern all the wonders approaching."和原文不太一致。這句英文
表達的是"只要走到心中煩悶已除的境界,則美景將一一奔來眼簾",而原文的則是,
"只要走到某個另一境界,則最終不只心中煩悶會消除,甚至美景也會一一奔來眼簾"。
所以不妨改成"Keep walking forward to a certain extent, and you will ultimately
not only feel swept away from anxiety but discern all the wonders approaching."
: away, you will discern all the wonders approaching. What a luck it is, to
: walk from plain to mountain, from youth to the autumn days, from the East to
youth和the autumn days感覺很不搭,一個可數一個不可數,且和youth對應的
通常是old age或seniority而不是autumn,和autumn相對的通常是spring或
summer而不是youth
可把from youth to the autumn days改成from youth to old age,
from youth to seniority, 或from the spring to the autumn days
: the West, during which everything will make such a huge change!
: In short, the function of legs is more for the way than for the goal.
--
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◆ From: 124.12.212.124
※ 編輯: JinSha 來自: 124.12.212.124 (07/13 17:13)
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