Re: [英中] To see a World in a Grain of Sand...

看板Translation (筆譯/翻譯)作者 (讀不完的書)時間14年前 (2011/09/01 11:16), 編輯推噓3(3027)
留言30則, 4人參與, 最新討論串3/5 (看更多)
在尊重各種譯詩的前提之下,個人認為原 PO 解讀有偏。 的確如原 PO 所言,譯詩不能單句譯,但原 PO 考慮的範圍仍然太狹隘。 解讀 Blake 的詩,尤其是有提到 innocence 的詩, 首先要知道的是, Blake 崇尚但並不看好 innocence。 在他那工業革命剛起步的年代,沒人管什麼人權, 小孩與婦女常被壓榨,世界的黑暗常使純真的小孩無辜受害, 這是因為小孩的純真是最珍貴的,但也是最脆弱的。 一反啟蒙時期崇尚 experience 的思想,以 Blake 為濫觴的浪漫時期崇尚 innocence, 於是對於 innocence 的遭受的辛酸苦淚尤其激動。 Innocence 相對於 experience 的特點之一是能以小窺大, 正是這首詩想表達的意象。 Blake 的另一特色,是他並不嚴守文法、標點等現代人的堅持, 於是回到關於第一句的討論:以文法來看的確如原 PO 所言, 但我認為 Blake 此處是一種詠嘆,並不是完整的句子。 故原原 PO 的譯法較為正確。 以上是個人淺見,有興趣進一步討論的話歡迎轉移至 poetry 板。 還有啊,建議你把廣告連結放進簽名檔,比較不易遭到砍文。 最後附上原詩與解析。 解析:http://tinyurl.com/3nk9mdp 原詩出處:http://www.online-literature.com/blake/612/ Auguries of Innocence To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour. A robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage. A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons Shudders hell through all its regions. A dog starved at his master's gate Predicts the ruin of the state. A horse misused upon the road Calls to heaven for human blood. Each outcry of the hunted hare A fibre from the brain does tear. A skylark wounded in the wing, A cherubim does cease to sing. The game-cock clipped and armed for fight Does the rising sun affright. Every wolf's and lion's howl Raises from hell a human soul. The wild deer wandering here and there Keeps the human soul from care. The lamb misused breeds public strife, And yet forgives the butcher's knife. The bat that flits at close of eve Has left the brain that won't believe. The owl that calls upon the night Speaks the unbeliever's fright. He who shall hurt the little wren Shall never be beloved by men. He who the ox to wrath has moved Shall never be by woman loved. The wanton boy that kills the fly Shall feel the spider's enmity. He who torments the chafer's sprite Weaves a bower in endless night. The caterpillar on the leaf Repeats to thee thy mother's grief. Kill not the moth nor butterfly, For the Last Judgment draweth nigh. He who shall train the horse to war Shall never pass the polar bar. The beggar's dog and widow's cat, Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat. The gnat that sings his summer's song Poison gets from Slander's tongue. The poison of the snake and newt Is the sweat of Envy's foot. The poison of the honey-bee Is the artist's jealousy. The prince's robes and beggar's rags Are toadstools on the miser's bags. A truth that's told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent. It is right it should be so: Man was made for joy and woe; And when this we rightly know Through the world we safely go. Joy and woe are woven fine, A clothing for the soul divine. Under every grief and pine Runs a joy with silken twine. The babe is more than swaddling bands, Throughout all these human lands; Tools were made and born were hands, Every farmer understands. Every tear from every eye Becomes a babe in eternity; This is caught by females bright And returned to its own delight. The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar Are waves that beat on heaven's shore. The babe that weeps the rod beneath Writes Revenge! in realms of death. The beggar's rags fluttering in air Does to rags the heavens tear. The soldier armed with sword and gun Palsied strikes the summer's sun. The poor man's farthing is worth more Than all the gold on Afric's shore. One mite wrung from the labourer's hands Shall buy and sell the miser's lands, Or if protected from on high Does that whole nation sell and buy. He who mocks the infant's faith Shall be mocked in age and death. He who shall teach the child to doubt The rotting grave shall ne'er get out. He who respects the infant's faith Triumphs over hell and death. The child's toys and the old man's reasons Are the fruits of the two seasons. The questioner who sits so sly Shall never know how to reply. He who replies to words of doubt Doth put the light of knowledge out. The strongest poison ever known Came from Caesar's laurel crown. Nought can deform the human race Like to the armour's iron brace. When gold and gems adorn the plough To peaceful arts shall Envy bow. A riddle or the cricket's cry Is to doubt a fit reply. The emmet's inch and eagle's mile Make lame philosophy to smile. He who doubts from what he sees Will ne'er believe, do what you please. If the sun and moon should doubt, They'd immediately go out. To be in a passion you good may do, But no good if a passion is in you. The whore and gambler, by the state Licensed, build that nation's fate. The harlot's cry from street to street Shall weave old England's winding sheet. The winner's shout, the loser's curse, Dance before dead England's hearse. Every night and every morn Some to misery are born. Every morn and every night Some are born to sweet delight. Some are born to sweet delight, Some are born to endless night. We are led to believe a lie When we see not through the eye Which was born in a night to perish in a night, When the soul slept in beams of light. God appears, and God is light To those poor souls who dwell in night, But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day. ※ 引述《yentzu (顏子老師)》之銘言: 這是為前輩譯者所誤導的解讀法。 兩岸百年來的譯者譯詩有許多都是看一行譯一行,不曉得解讀英詩需得看整句。這首詩連 號稱「大師」的王佐良都用這種錯誤方式去譯。 這詩的基本結構就是 前半句為 (條件句式的)不定詞,後半句則為「祈使」語句,前兩 行跟後兩行的句法是不一樣的,所以意思當然也不「同款」。 有興趣譯詩的年青人最好讀一下我寫的「英詩閱讀欣賞與翻譯示範」,先將受自前輩譯者 的「污染」清除再說。 五言太短,很難盡收此詩之意。若換成七言絕句,則較不難,如下: 君欲一沙窺大千, 或一花中見妙天, 需能隻手握無極, 且須臾間納永延。 有趣的是,這樣的意思好像是在「預言」量子物理論的到來。National Geographic 的探 索宇宙系列節目就時常在說浩瀚宇宙的道理,需得借助在物質最小的量子中去探討。 顏子 from www.yentzu.idv.tw ※ 引述《juotung (想飛)》之銘言: : To see a World in a Grain of Sand, : And Heaven in a Wild Flower, : Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, : And Eternity in an hour. : 一沙存洞天 : 野花亦莊嚴 : 無窮盈一握 : 曾經即永遠 : (William Blake, Auguries of Innocence) -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 111.248.73.226 -- 英語文工作室 http://www.wretch.cc/blog/jsengstudio/ 個板 defenestrate -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 140.112.4.195 ※ 編輯: spacedunce5 來自: 140.112.4.195 (09/01 11:19)

09/01 11:30, , 1F
仔細一看...原來是凡事必文法的顏子老師='=
09/01 11:30, 1F

09/01 19:00, , 2F
我也認為,前四行沒有「為了要...必先...」的意思,前二
09/01 19:00, 2F

09/01 19:01, , 3F
用不定詞to,後二用動詞原型,但都在表示祈願。不定詞to的
09/01 19:01, 3F

09/01 19:02, , 4F
祈願,如同To boldly go where no man has gone before.
09/01 19:02, 4F

09/02 00:23, , 5F
讀詩絕對要以文法入手,除非是像擺明了不甩文法的Dickinson
09/02 00:23, 5F

09/02 00:28, , 6F
同一句內,不會有兩個主動詞可為證.至於什麼是一句,大家皆知
09/02 00:28, 6F

09/02 00:54, , 7F
語言本來就該以語序邏輯(文法)為起始點,但讀 Blake
09/02 00:54, 7F

09/02 00:54, , 8F
3就不用「嚴守」文法
09/02 00:54, 8F

09/02 00:55, , 9F
或者可以說對文法要更專精以致能寫出論文來
09/02 00:55, 9F

09/02 01:06, , 10F
沒力氣看完全詩,可是一直看了三分之一都很守文法
09/02 01:06, 10F

09/02 01:06, , 11F
指這篇Blake
09/02 01:06, 11F

09/02 01:08, , 12F
很多他的詩現代版都被沒有要專精的編輯校正過了;回到
09/02 01:08, 12F

09/02 01:10, , 13F
前四行,按原譯或原原 PO 的新譯,都解成不完整的句子
09/02 01:10, 13F

09/02 01:10, , 14F
,我便認為是種詠嘆:O! To see a world etc.
09/02 01:10, 14F

09/02 01:11, , 15F
問題在用的是逗號
09/02 01:11, 15F

09/02 01:12, , 16F
然不合文法的詩人畢竟是特例(現代派除外)
09/02 01:12, 16F

09/02 01:12, , 17F
第三句首省略 to
09/02 01:12, 17F

09/02 01:13, , 18F
竊以為畫虎易畫鬼難,以英文為第二語言的教學宜避免令學生
09/02 01:13, 18F

09/02 01:14, , 19F
以為詩不講文法的印象
09/02 01:14, 19F

09/02 01:14, , 20F
==================詩絕對講文法啊==================
09/02 01:14, 20F

09/02 01:15, , 21F
先打好基礎,基本動作齊全再進階 poetic license
09/02 01:15, 21F

09/02 01:15, , 22F
這是我在英詩板的長期堅持!不過解詩時偶爾有 leeway
09/02 01:15, 22F

09/02 01:16, , 23F
但網上此歪風很多哩:什麼英詩不講文法,新聞標題不必合文法
09/02 01:16, 23F

09/02 01:18, , 24F
順便一問,中文詩講文法嗎?
09/02 01:18, 24F

09/02 01:19, , 25F
應該合文言文法吧? (亂猜)
09/02 01:19, 25F

09/02 02:04, , 26F
我也沒有凡詩便不講文法或讀詩不必懂文法的意思
09/02 02:04, 26F

09/02 02:05, , 27F
歡迎大家參觀英詩板 poetry~(置入性行銷
09/02 02:05, 27F

09/02 02:14, , 28F
s大如果開課我會去上
09/02 02:14, 28F

09/02 02:16, , 29F
多是blank or free verses嗎?
09/02 02:16, 29F

09/02 08:49, , 30F
what else besides blank and free verse? XD
09/02 08:49, 30F
文章代碼(AID): #1ENlaXNi (Translation)
文章代碼(AID): #1ENlaXNi (Translation)